Posts19

Just discovered that Tumblr has deleted my account. Probably deserved, although I did try to play by the rules… And xhamster is definitely not what it once was. I've tried a few times to upload... it takes forever and fails pretty much all the time now. It's not really worth adding new stuff anymore. A lot of the best people have already moved on – I don't know to where, if anywhere, and I don't feel like exploring to find out. So I guess that's it, huh? I'm a little sad about it, but maybe it's all a sign that this part of my life is over. I've had periods before where I quit dressing or d… Read more

At the time of this writing, xHamster tells me that I've made $0.84 from my videos. Hooray! This brings my total lifetime earnings from sex work up to... $0.84 lol I've fantasized about being a cheap whore for some time now, although frankly I expected it to involve small amounts of paper money rather than even smaller amounts of digital currency. I guess I'm old-fashioned that way :D (although about a year ago, I WAS offered three whole figures from a gentleman with much experience in the industry to do a video with him. Not bad for a part-time closeted crossdresser with half a century of w… Read more

Well, guess who has some new footage to work with. Here's a photo to get you going: Oh. So xhamster is no longer letting you upload pics? That's weird. I guess I'll settle for embedding it in a post: Oh. So that's no longer supported either. Rats. Hmm. I'll need to verify myself to publish videos? That's annoying, but I guess I can understand why. So maybe you'll see something new from me in a few days. Maybe not, I haven't decided yet. Some of the footage is decent, some not so much. I don't suppose it's very nice of me to tell you that it was the most spontaneously I've ever cum on video… Read more

So I've noticed that there's two kinds of people who entertain feminization fantasies. There are those of us who get off on it, because we want to be feminized. But there are also those who really think that there's some kind of conspiracy to feminize boys. Seriously, it's not an uncommon theory in right-wing circles. Some people truly believe that there's an insidious program of feminization going on. The exact details differ from one conspiracy theorist to another, but the general outline is surprisingly similar to the fantasies that I and others share. Basically, boys -- typically white… Read more

2020 seemed like it was going to be such a big year for Jennifer. I came into it full of energy and ideas and eagerness to explore. And then... well, you were there. You know what happened. For me, circumstances beyond my control returned me pretty much to the closet. I won't complain too much, because I stayed healthy and employed, unlike so many others. But Jennifer is back to being mostly a dream, and that makes me sad. I'm not unhappy with my life as it is, but if you have both imagination and lessons, you know what it's like to realize just how many things are both possible and out of yo… Read more

I love making vids to get you off. Thinking about you getting hard and cumming while watching me is pretty much my favorite thing ❤ I know many of you would love to see me make more stroking & cumming vids. I'm totally willing and eager to do so... but despite my enthusiasm, I do seem to have a little recurring trouble getting and keeping a nice hard erection when the camera is rolling :( It probably wouldn't be such a concern if I was able to do it regularly, and at my own speed... but in my situation, I have to make the most of any opportunity to dress and perform. So it's frustrating… Read more

Poor guys. All you want to do is have sex with a tranny. But all the good ones aren't interested. Don't worry, I'll teach you a few secrets that are guaranteed to get you all the tranny sex you could ever want. 1. Are you a big strong handsome alpha male? No, you're not. If you were, you probably wouldn't need my help... trannies would be falling over themselves to get to you, am I right? Alpha males just have something that you're lacking and can never have. You poor thing. But don't worry, you have an ace in the hole that real men don't have... and this little difference is your key to attr… Read more

Choices choices choices. Velvet skater skirt with fishnets, or skintight leather pants? Translucent black sheer shirt or fishnet shirt? Horns or a pair of ponytail buns? Choker and corset or choker-neck buckled crop top? Elbow-length or wrist-length fingerless gloves? Blood red or black fingernails? Tattoos and/or piercings? Cat eye glasses or no glasses? Clove cigarettes or VS120s? All black lipstick or blood red with black liner? Goth mistress teasing or goth slut sucking? Beg my followers for donations, or economize with what I've already got? Paypal or Amazon wishlist?… Read more

For the second time this week, I passed by some prostitutes while going about my drab daily business. I don't know what most normal people think when they see a working girl, but I expect that it's distinctly different from what I think. I go to work quite early, and my route takes me straight through a funky part of town. I can't remember whether it was first thing Saturday or Sunday morning, but it was obviously the end of someone's good night. Stopped at the light next to me at Washington and MLK (no, really). The car was a few years old, cheap luxury with gold trim, possibly a Cadillac. S… Read more

I'm not going to get too sentimental. But really, I am totally overwhelmed by all the sweet and sexy responses that I've received. I never expected this. I thought maybe I'd connect with a few other die-hard smoking fetishists who might enjoy (or at least tolerate) my little experiments in amateur porn. I never dreamed that there would be so much encouragement and support by so many lovely and sexy people. I'm really trying to reply to everyone, because you all deserve it. But I keep missing people and getting caught up in "real world stuff" that takes time away from this. And of course some… Read more

It worked! I'm now a mindless hypno sex drone! ...as true as that may be, what I'm excited about is my new contacts. I'd always read that it was harder to cover up dark eyes, but wow these do the trick. They're striking. Maybe a bit artificial, but I like artificial. I'm not exactly a natural kind of gurl... I took some liberties in post-production -- that's digital makeup, but I left the eyes exactly as photographed. And a serious crop because (most of) you would not be aroused by the rest of my ensemble. I am soooo looking… Read more

The response to my last batch was really unexpectedly good. Many people had very kind words for my pinup rockabilly look. Sincerely appreciated; especially during my more discouraged moments. I started thinking about plans for my next set. Soliciting requests, sketching scripts, building a wish list, studying style and makeup and lighting. My bar had been raised, and my hopes for next time reached the usual unrealistic heights. Well, there will always be a next time. I almost forgot, in the heady glow of appreciation and pride, what the original goal was. I almost forgot my (bleach-blond)… Read more

There are a LOT of sissy hypnosis vids out there. Pretty much all the ones that I've seen feature females giving instructions. That's great for the transitional sissies, the beta males that still need feminine authority to coax and shame them to the next level... but there seems to be a weak spot between luring those with lingering male desires, and the endgame of total submission TO a man's desire. What I'd really love to hear is a strong, confident MALE voice telling me what to do. Just between you and me, I'm sure I'll always be aroused by sexy women (including and especially MtF). But fo… Read more

Is sissy hypnosis real? You're too intelligent to really believe in things like that. It's just a fun little genre of role-playing and fantasy. It's perfect if you're turned on by something that you don't really want to do, or want to pretend that you don't want to do. If you're a guy who knows he shouldn't be dressing in women's clothes or daydreaming about sucking cock, it's nice to pretend that somebody else is controlling you and making you want to do it against your will. Funny thing though... the more you pretend, the more it gets inside you. Like a TV commercial or a pop song or a cha… Read more

Well, my rockabilly pinup experiment wasn't a complete success lol. I was going for Bettie Page and I ended up with Mommie Dearest :D I was bitterly disappointed at first. Viewing the pics and raw footage was a bit devastating. I hated how old and harsh and masculine I looked. I actually kinda looked like my mom, which is a total turnoff (I have had some abstract i****t fantasies, but they've never been based on my ACTUAL immediate family members, none of whom I find even remotely arousing). So I experienced that familiar urge, common among many of us recreational crossdressers, to give up a… Read more

No actual resolutions. I hit my weight loss goal about 6 months ago (I miss the good curves, but the bad ones had to go) and I have no plans to quit smoking. What would I do with my other hand? Lol. And nobody comes here to read that I'm planning to drink more water and generally take better care of my skin :D BUT, I do have a few goals for my Jennifer Lee persona. At the risk of getting overly morbid, I only have so much time left... and Jennifer probably has less, in the sense that I expect at some point to no longer be aroused by her -- whether it's because she's totally lost her looks, or… Read more

Lol, my new video got a few thumbs down. I'm glad it was me instead of some poor self-conscious transgender just getting started. That could be discouraging... or encouraging, I guess, if you really get off on abuse... luckily, I'm neither. I'm just kinda curious about what specifically they didn't like. If they object to smoking, man have you got the wrong girl :D I'm not at all deluded about my appeal or my identity. I love all of the positive comments -- and if I haven't directly responded to yours, I'm sorry, I really do appreciate them. Some of them even get me excited :) But I'm not rea… Read more

Playday is over, now to the work of sorting, editing and uploading. I still look pretty good, I guess... no question that I'm older, and I think I need to go back to makeup school. But the camera didn't totally hate me, and I'm encouraged enough to keep playing in 2020. Absolutely LOVE the new wig (Sapphire Wigs via Amazon). It's a nice middle ground between big curly 80s and modern trashy glam. Probably a little OTT for some (and too conventional for others lol). Kinda screams biker chick or selfie stick :D And I've always wanted one of those off-shoulder knit dresses. Perfectly slutty, but… Read more

Forgive me father, for I have not sinned. It's been quite a while since I last dressed. And pretty much never since I had a real sexy partner to explore fantasies with. All of the bravery and lust and curiosity that I feel when I'm hard and looking at all your sexy pics and vids... all of that seems to vanish when it comes time to live it for real. I hate to admit how nervous and inhibited I really am, not to mention my understanding of how seldom reality comes close to living up to fantasy. But the truth is that none of us are getting any younger. I'd like to experience something that porn a… Read more