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Clitastic's Stories | xHamster

Sexual Frustrations

Hey guys! So it's been like fooorrreeevvvverrrrrrr? Like so much forever. I looked at my last post and interactions and they were like months and months ago! But for some reason, I keep getting drawn back to my beloved xhamster and my long long list of unread messages and friend request. Guys..... I literally have 604 messages in my inbox. I didn't even know it could go that high. (Guess you guys missed me huh :P) And I'll be sure to answer everybody that has messaged me, which might take a little while. Anyway, one thing that I surely missed was my blog posts and stories. I have so… Read more

Posted by Clitastic 8 years ago 1

New Story?

Hey guys and gals! Been a long time huh? Well I had to take a break for a while to focus on some things but now im back. Dont know for how long though. The main reason ibwant to stay is because I loved doing my blogs and getting feedback from them. I haven't written in sooooo long and im starting to miss it so why not come back to the place where I loved doing it. So in a few days you might start seeing some new stories and blog posts so stay posted! :-) and if you have any ideas for a story don't be too shy to tell me! Kim :-)… Read more

Posted by Clitastic 8 years ago

O Face

Last weekend I had a little get together with my girls in efforts to cheer up Tasha, who is finally in the moving on stage. My philosophy to a broken heart is good drinks and good friends. We all sat around with my famous sangria and had a good ol' girl chat. After about four drinks, as always, our mind headed for the gutters. Our topic? The best sex we ever had. I had to admit- my girls had some pretty good stories about who gave them the guys that ultimate best O face. They also talked about their secret moves in the bedroom to give their men that ultimate climax. As we were talking a… Read more

Posted by Clitastic 10 years ago 2

When To Move On?

Yesterday, I spent my lunch hour trying to comfort my friend Tasha who was going through a rough patch. Her boyfriend of four years suddenly broke it off with her with no explanation. She said that he was happy and had even talked about them moving in together. I was utterly confused. How does one go from picking out wallpapers with their significant other to nothing. No calls, no texts, just nothing but questions left unanswered. After days of trying to contact him only to get voice mails and one word replies to her texts, she finally gave up and consequently broke down. As she attempted… Read more

Posted by Clitastic 10 years ago 10

My First Lesbian Experience

So Monday one of my good friends had a barbecue and invited me. I hadn't seen her in a while and thought it would be good to catch up with her. The beginning of the night was filled with laughs, drinks, and good food. The rest of night? Well, I'm still a little iffy on. During the party I volunteered to help my friend make some more appetizers for the guests. I admit, I was feeling a good buzz that I haven't felt since the beginning of my semester. I figured since it was Final's week, I could let loose for a night-relax a bit. Anyway, my friend and I, let's call her Jessica (name chang… Read more

Posted by Clitastic 10 years ago

White men who love Black women- why?

So, I was on my lunch break at work when one of my coworkers joins me. We start talking and the topic of interracial dating comes up. Now, I've written a post before on this topic, however, this one is on a lighter note. Well, anyway, my coworker, we'll call him Jeremy. Jeremy (who happens to be white) is absolutely in love with black women, which, of course, is not a bad thing. So I thought I would ask for his reasons for being more attracted to black girls than any other race. His answer? Because their black. I didn't know what to really think of the answer. Surely that couldn't be t… Read more

Posted by Clitastic 10 years ago 9

Policing the Police (Non-Sex)

Police. They're main priority is to protect civilians and arrest the murderers, thieves and so on. It is their job to protect us.... but whose job is it to protect us from them? I know, I know, every cop isn't bad, but every cop isn't good either. I was on my favorite site, Reddit (fellow Redditors stand up :O!!), earlier today and I came across a link. I clicked and read the story of the brutal beating and ultimate death of a homeless man at the hands of police. I read the story and watched a portion of a video that went along with it. The video was of the altercation. From what I rea… Read more

Posted by Clitastic 10 years ago 2

Texting Buddy ^_^

So! I kinda want a texting buddy. Somebody I can shoot the breeze with from time to time. If you want to be my texting buddy you have to fit some of the criteria down below and agree to the rules. 1)I have to have known you for a while. 2)Don't ever call me! 3) I don't want any naked pictures from you. 4)I will never send you any naked pictures. 5) Sexting is fine, but I get bored easily if you do it over 75% of the time. 6)Regular chat is always welcome! A nice 'how was your day?' 'what's up?' will never be frowned upon.… Read more

Posted by Clitastic 11 years ago 3

Rant!(Non-sex :P)

So, I have finally finished my project and most of my studying and I am sooooo tired, but I'm also bored so I thought I would blog since I haven't in a while. First I have to comment on some of the events that have happened in the past couple of days. 1) Even though this is a- *cough *cough- porn site, I have to comment on the Boston Marathon Bombing. You know..... it really is becoming a scary time in not only America but the world. Parents can't send their c***dren to school without fearing that it'll be their town on CNN next with the headline 'School Shooting'. People can't go to mo… Read more

Posted by Clitastic 11 years ago 1

New Story?

So I'm sitting here, eating some macaroni and I suddenly get an idea (insert light bulb on top of head). Why don't I write another story?! But then I thought about it.... I mean I have like five unfinished stories currently sitting in my Documents folder as I type this lol. I have the horrible habit of not finishing my stories after like 1000 pages in. I hate finishing stories, both reading and writing :P Oh, here I go rambling again:P Anyway! I have this little idea in my head right now. It's about a small town girl, probably somewhere bayou-like, somewhere in Louisiana. I don't… Read more

Posted by Clitastic 11 years ago 2

The Power of Persuasion

Maybe it's for the fact that my friend Jasmine took it upon herself to smoke a blunt in my apartment and I'm inhaling the fumes, or I'm actually having one of those philosophical moments (if this even is one), but I was on my couch when a thought happened to cross my mind. We girls can be pretty persuasive... For example, I was doing some errands today when I happened to drive by my favorite chocolate shop. Since I was feeling a little meh (too lazy to explain the feeling) today, I stopped by and ordered my favorite flavor of chocolate ( its this flavor that I love- made with milk chocolate,… Read more

Posted by Clitastic 12 years ago 1

A Case of the Ex

It's 11:50 P.M. on a Wednesday night, I'm sipping on a glass of Pinot Noir and continuing to not give a flying rat's ass about the world. Why am I in such a bad mood? It all started when I was at the supermarket getting some stuff for dinner. I ave this horrible habit of watching the cooking channel and feeling like Emeril Lagasse himself. So as I'm walking through the aisles, pushing my buggy full of ingredients, I happen to hear someone calling my name. I turn around, regretting that I didn't recognize the voice, of all people it had to be my ex Corey... I dated Corey for abou… Read more

Posted by Clitastic 12 years ago

Interracial Dating-Question at the end

Hey Guys ^_^ This is gonna be short post because it's currently 1:08 a.m. and I'm super tired. But.... this has been bothering me all day. So today, I was with Josh, he apologized for being so late for our dinner date and life is too short to hold a grudge. We were walking around downtown on my break for lunch when suddenly, three black guys were making whistling noises from behind us. Of course I turn around to see what the fuss is about, Josh does as well. What I saw were these three men making obscene gestures to me and one actually had the audacity to say 'You need some black… Read more

Posted by Clitastic 12 years ago 13

Application ^_^

Ugh, I hate getting cancelled on! >_< Tonight Josh and I were supposed to go to this little salsa thing tonight but unfortunately, one of his close friends took it upon himself to get arrested and Josh had to go and bail him out. I admit, I was super pissed off for two seconds and then I realized that I would do the same thing if my girl Jasmine or Sasha got in some trouble. I told him we could go another time, in which he was relieved that I didn't act like a bitch about it(which I never do ^_^) So... now I'm here, stuck at home, have up in a twist, and make up off- au natural. Not that… Read more

Posted by Clitastic 12 years ago 8

And The Plot Thickens

So last Saturday night me and my girls thought it was time to take care of this dance fever that's been bugging us all week. I had on my cute little pink body skirt and white retro shirt (off the shoulder) I had to say that I was totally in love with myself last night. Music blaring, strobe lights, and a couple drink later were just the perfect setting for me :) My fave song had come on and I was in the middle of swaying my hips to the beat... until my eyes caught a man at the other side of the dance floor, standing by one of the private booths. Of course I politely smiled and tur… Read more

Posted by Clitastic 12 years ago 3

READ BEFORE YOU MESSAGE ME!!!

Okay guys, let's talk for a bit. It's come to my attention that maybe my Bio is a little too long, or there maybe some lazy readers out there :P (I don't judge) But, I've had the displeasure (that's a word, right?) of recently getting into a little spat with one of Xhamster's users (I won't name names out of privacy) over the fact that it appeared that I was ignoring this user's message. GUYS!!! (This message is for you) I cannot stress enough that whenever I exit, I am not automatically logged out. Now that might not be an annoying problem for some of you, but for me it is. So if I h… Read more

Posted by Clitastic 12 years ago 7

Definition of Casual Dating?

Hi guys. I know you were expecting a juicy blog post about my night with Josh, but after chatting a bit with somebody, I have to let something off my chest. What is your definition of casual dating? To me, it's just going on dates with somebody, having a good time, without the hassles of a relationship, without the risk of being hurt like you could be in a relationship. Before Josh, I had two boyfriends,(first one was at 16: 1 year, and second one was at 17: almost two years. Both were shitty. The first one was a jerk and the second one cheated on me within a year, but somehow… Read more

Posted by Clitastic 12 years ago 4

Death By Chocolate

Yesterday, after going to a cooking class with my friend (who has no idea how to cook) I got a call from Josh. His busy work schedule has prevented us from spending time together for the past week, so I was happy to invite him over. I was in dire need of some Josh time ;). Fifteen minutes later he was at my door. "Hey beautiful.", he said, planting a knee-wobbling kiss on my lips. He walked in, the same mouth-watering sandalwood scent invading my nostrils. He took his jacket off, revealing a red shirt and muscular arms and I was getting wetter by the minute. "I stopped by earlier, but yo… Read more

Posted by Clitastic 12 years ago 2

We Like to Party

So, last Wednesday, my friends thought it would be a good idea to have a movie night and some drinks. I've been feeling a little down lately, so it would be the perfect thing to cheer me up and enhance my bartender skills. We popped the movie in and mixed drinks. By then end, the four of us were giggling like school girls. We decided that we needed to liven things up and invited over a few people. By the midnight, the handful of people in my apartment turned into a crowd. One by one guests showed up, some with alcohol, some with snacks, one with a bag of weed who I had to kick out In a… Read more

Posted by Clitastic 12 years ago 1

When it Rains, it Pours

So it's currently storming over here and since I'm just as afraid of thunder as my dog, I decided to call one of my knights in shining armor. The lucky winner was the one and only Josh, who was happy to come over and keep me company. I have to keep myself busy so I won't think about jumping his bones (Frankly, I think I'm starting to become addicted to him.) Anyway, we're both sitting on the couch (me on one side and him on the other, both watching a movie) I wish I could take a picture of him so you guys could see just how damn good he looks right now. I just love a man that can dress pro… Read more

Posted by Clitastic 12 years ago