Last seen 7 days ago
Porn Lover
4968 days on xHamster
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Personal information
About me
I guess this is my statement where I will attempt to synthesize my beliefs on my sexuality. Though I will attempt to be as honest as possible, self-descriptions are inherently biased. I may be much more or less than what I say I am. I would read this with the knowledge that I try to be as honest as possible but there is, of course, a margin of error. I believe every human has animalistic tendencies where your primal instincts have a tug of war with the everyday façade of acceptability you adorn. I am very new to the kink scene and have been involved mainly in long-term relationships with very vanilla sex. I attribute the ultimate failure of those relationships to sexual boredom. My partners have often been more conservative in nature and find oral to be quite the scandalous affair. However, I am in a stage in my life where I want my sexual primal instincts to dictate the direction I follow. I want kink, I want the leather, the toys, the whips, the chains, the rope, the mouth gags, and all the accouterment that come with the lifestyle. I want to cross the threshold where pain becomes the pleasure and where degradation only enhances our sexual desires. Other than that, I am a nice person that does his best not to judge. I am educated and I am continuing my education to pursue a professional degree. Feel free to ask me any questions you may have and I will answer them as best as one can on ze intraweb haha.<br/><br/>What are my limits? I am not sure. I want to try everything once, I want my limits tested and when I feel uncomfortable, I want my limits to be pushed further.<br/><br/>What is my sexual orientation? I am not sure but I seek to gain more experience with women. However, if you are not an asshole and a nice person, I will not suppress my attraction to you regardless of orientation.<br/><br/>Am I a dom or sub? No clue. I am new to the lifestyle so I would like to try both.<br/><br/>Top or Bottom? I like both.<br/><br/>Music with pleasant sounds:<br/>Type O Negative, Deftones, The Birthday Massacre, Tool, A Perfect Circle, Radiohead, Alice in Chains, Nirvana, Pearl Jam, Soundgarden, Nightwish, Lacuna Coil, Clan of Xymox, Rammstein, KMFDM, NIN, AFI, MCR,The Cult, The Smiths, The Cure, trance music, 80s, Spanish Rock, Classic Rock, all things rock haha, and overall quite a mix on my iPod so a little bit of everything.<br/><br/>Movies with pleasant sights:<br/>Donnie Darko, Tim Burton films, Quentin Tarantino films, Eternal Sunshine for the Spotless Mind, Memento, Requiem for a Dream, What We Do in the Shadows, Kung Pow, Old School, Anchorman, Zoolander, Lord of the Rings, Star Wars, Repo! The Genetic Opera, Rocky Horror Picture Show.<br/><br/>Video Games with pleasant fun:<br/>Mass Effect, Skyrim, Fallout, CiV, AoE, Total War, FIFA, Mario Games, Smash Bros, Mario Karts.<br/><br/>Some awe inspiring quotes:<br/><br/>"It smells like corn chips and bodily fluids"<br/>-Some guy on the bus<br/><br/>"See, there's three kinds of people: dicks, pussies, and assholes. Pussies think everyone can get along, and dicks just want to fuck all the time without thinking it through. But then you got your assholes, Chuck. And all the assholes want us to shit all over everything! So, pussies may get mad at dicks once in a while because pussies get fucked by dicks. But dicks also fuck assholes, Chuck. And if they didn't fuck the assholes, you know what you'd get? You'd get your dick and your pussy all covered in shit!"<br/>-Drunk guy in Team America<br/><br/>"Instead of slashing my wrists, I just write a bunch of really crummy songs."<br/>-Peter Steel (Rock God/Lead singer of Type O Negative/RIP)
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Uncle Paul
I'm just about to go to bed, but I just wanted to share with you that I feel your passion for the transformative power of music. It can open up parts of your unconscious that you would never otherwise notice, and that is where the entire range of your true potentiality of your identity dwells. Music can show you the real YOU.
As for regrets since allowing Lilith to sort of possess me... I have a few, though even the negative things have value for personal growth. If you read my blog entry on the gang bang I did back in August of 2011, I detail the deep regrets I had following it. The story is altered a bit for the sake of ease of writing, but it is mostly accurate. Embracing your own "Lilith," your own Shadow is very dangerous and I nearly committed suicide from it. But, in the end, embracing Lilith has connected me with the greatest source of wisdom I have ever known. She has been both my crucifier and my savior.
It's funny that you mentioned APC hitting you in that "confused high school time." I was just finishing college when Mer de Noms came out and it sparked a drama in my head that changed my life. It was while listening to that CD, over and over again, when I first met Lilith. It was sort of daydream/fantasy. I didn't so much dream her up as much as she IMPOSED herself onto my little fantasy. She was just there, this dark shadowy figure who stood for the corruption of all the things I held dear in terms of morals.
Anyway, APC hit me after those formative years of Highschool and college, but the image of Lilith endured, entering my dreams every so often and growing stronger with every encounter. Finally, around the time I started my profile on xhamster, she burst into my head like never before. I was listening to "Slut" by Velvet Acid Christ... it was amazing! She not only burst into my mind, she seized me. If you happen to listen to that song (the link in on my profile) you might see what I mean. The lyrics were like listening to her voice, the voice of my sweet corruptor.
Good to hear from you and take care!
And type o negatives music really helped get through some tough times. My struggle and even now, is with identity I had to balance a life in the church and a life where I can be who I want to be.
And I must say, your avatar and Peter Steel quote (which hits so close to home) is almost too obvious.... but I can't help myself. You seem like you might be interesting : )