New orig. story by OldcuckSF

The setting is a late 19th century walk-up in San Francisco. A wealthy divorcee who lives alone but for her staff and a butler (Godfrey) put an advertisement in the News declaring she’d fund new medical inventions. A telegram announced that two doctors, Earle Haas and Arnold Kegel would arrive by carriage the next day.


“Godfrey, I have a problem and I need your assistance.”

“How can I be of service ma’am?”

“I found an almost incomprehensible note waiting for me at the Western Union. How I do detest that place with all the little hammers beating and the needles waggling about. Such a clamor!. I gather though, from the note, that our two good inventor doctors, Haas and Kegel will be here on the morrow.

“With your permission ma’am, I’ll motivate the household right away and we’ll have everything up to snuff before nightfall.”

“Very good Godfrey, but once you get them going I have a different and more delicate task for you. Last time the good doctors visited, they spent some time each demonstrating their new medical devices. Dr. Haas droned on and on, and about bore me to death for three hours, and if you remember, his ideas on women’s health…”.

The memory in Godfrey’s mind at that moment was that after showing Dr. Haas to the door with “a good day, Sir”, he had gone to check on Milady and found her disheveled and snoring loudly, face down in the sofa squabs which had been thrown haphazardly on the floor in the middle of her office, her skirts askew, her grand glistening derrière pointed skyward. A delicate matter indeed.


Monday afternoon…


What Godfrey saw when stepped into Madame’s quarters stopped him in his tracks. Dr. Haas was standing at the end of Madame’s bed. His naked legs and muscular buttocks revealed below his white dress shirt, each of his arms extended at forty-five degree angles grasped what appeared to be Milady’s ankles, her dainty feet and toes wiggling. Godfrey stood rooted, not sure if he should stay or go until he saw a delicate arm reach up from the bed and pull the corded rope tassel (which rang the bell in his own quarters) for the third time in as many minutes.

“Ma’am?” Godfrey exclaimed rather loudly.

“Thank god you’re here Godfrey, Earle… I mean Dr. Haas, would like you to explain the condition you have put me in and demonstrate the crude device that you have accosted me with. Hurry up and get this over with Godfrey, as I have never felt so humiliated in my entire life.”

“Step up here Gadfly, don’t worry about appearances. I want you to explain this tassel that protrudes from Madame’s pudenda.”

“My god Haas. He’s my hired man and I am not some common strumpet. Have you no decency, Sir?”

“Come around here Gadfly, show me what you’ve done. Don’t be shy as this is now a medical procedure.”

Godfrey hesitantly moved toward the right side of Dr. Haas and was again stopped in his tracks by what he saw. Milady’s skirts had been thrown up over her head to reveal her charms just below the smooth belly, one delicate hand protruding from beneath the silk and lace ostensibly to cover her soft downy mound with modest fingers. Her clitoris poked between those digits and the closely shorn labia majora like a pearl swimming in the meat of a fresh oyster. Godfrey looked away with pretend embarrassment and then noticed the good doctor’s todger, a monster really, thicker than any prick he had ever seen, it looked more like a club than a cock. It wasn’t vey long and Godfrey thought his own equipment might beat him in length but the thickness was really quite shocking. He was instantly concerned that his lady might actually be injured by such a frightful weapon.

“Gadfly, the lady says you made this device to deal with her monthlies, her menses, and at her direction.”

“It’s Godfrey, sir. And, yes, I found several, three actually, small sponges at the docks that were tossed by the sponge fishermen because of their diminutive size. I brought them home and strung them together on this leather shoelace so that they could easily be retrieved. They are quite effective per Madame’s comments”.

All of this was, of course, a lie. Madame was considerably past the age when her monthlies were still an issue. The sponges were simply intended to remove Dr. Kegel’s semen before Dr. Haas’ visit. Godfrey had no idea why she was still encumbered by them, until much later when it was revealed that the shear volume of Kegel’s semen had required multiple applications in Madame’s boudoir. Unfortunately, interrupted by Dr. Haas’ early arrival, she had no time to remove them.

“Outstanding Gadfly!” exclaimed the doctor. “Now remove it and show me the device itself”

“My Lord, Earle, have you no shame?”, exclaimed Madame shaking her legs and causing a slight struggle as Dr. Haas fought to regain control. “If you devils remove that and stain my carpet or bedspread there will be hell to pay!” she said in a soft but stern voice. She stopped struggling, apparently resigned to the coming insult.

“Gadfly, cup your right hand underneath to catch whatever effusion may be released and pull that cord with your left”.

Following the doctor’s instructions, he carefully pulled until the first sponge began to emerge. It was impossible for Godfrey not to notice Hass’ John Thomas as it began to twitch and expand, seminal fluid making the corona glisten menacingly in the soft light. The first sponge came out covered in a milky clear fluid and made a slight plop sound as it exited, eliciting a moan and another slight leg jiggle from Madame. A tablespoon of the warm liquid drooled slowly onto Godfrey’s palm.

“That’s a sight, it reminds me of the all infants I’ve delivered, come Gadfly lets examine the remaining sponges and see what more treasures they’ve uncovered from milady’s depths.”

Godfrey pulled the next one out and the third, each covered with more fluids than the last. Each one making a loud noise like a pebble hitting a pond and drawing a moan from above. Godfrey’s cupped palm now held a veritable puddle of the milky juice and in this other hand he held the string of the dripping sponges.

“With your permission Sir, I should go and dispose of this.” said Godfrey, not sure of where to look because he was, by then, suffering with his own erection that tented the front of his trousers.

“Nonsense, Gadfly. We are only halfway done. Show me how one inserts the sponge string.”

“Argh!” shouted milady, slamming her skirts back down and trying to sit up but with no such luck.

“I need to do something with this sponge fluid sir, this sponge gruel, this splooge, because I need both hands to reinsert the sponges”

“Splooge! that’s a great name. Here just lubricate my engine with it.” suggested Dr. Haas, waving his now fiercely erect priapism in a little circle. “I’ll just put it back where it came from”.

Godfrey reached out with his right hand and let the fluid run off onto the thick cock.

“Don’t be shy Gadfly, I remind you I am a professional and this is a medical demonstration. Grasp it in your hand tightly and lubricate the entire length. My John Thomas has tasted Hess’ gruel, or as you so aptly call it, splooge, before. That pencil dicked snake oil salesman’s entire life has been dedicated to tightening vaginas in search of one that is tighter than a Sumatran sparrow. A fools errand, in my opinion, but Hess leaves his calling card. See those matching bruises high up on milady’s inner thighs? See there, just a hint of blue now but by the morrow…”

His voice trailed off as Godfrey suddenly ran his hand down the thick veined shaft. Steam seemed to lift off the head around the corona adding a musky odor to the air. Godfrey’s arms were now crossed, his right hand grasping the Dr.’s tool on his left, his left hand desperately trying to re-insert the sponges into Madame’s grotto on his right. Using his fingers, Godfrey succeeded in inserting two thirds of the tassel, the last sponge halfway in and halfway out.

“I see we’ve come to an impasse Gadfly. Bring my big tosser up to the breach and lets see if I can help drive that last one in. That’s right. Tamp on it. Tamp it in. Slap her little man in the boat with the head once or twice. That’s right, it’s going now.”

Suddenly, with a cry and a convulsion milady’s legs started shaking and a great explosion of fluids sprayed from her garden of eden. The three sponges shot out and Madame’s legs fell limp. Godfrey leaned over to check on his lady, noticing that her face and upper chest were flushed red. Her eyes were closed and she was breathing softly. A few seconds later her eyes fluttered open and she stared right at Godfrey. No words were spoken. After another moment, she cocked her head several times almost imperceptibly and rolled her eyes toward the door.

The gesture was not lost on the good doctor whose prodigious member was once again making headway like an oversized ship stuck in a Panama Canal lock. Godfrey still had his hand around the shaft and when the doctors’s “huevos grandes” finally rested on his palm, the whole train, caboose and all, came to a halt within the station.

“Gadfly, my good man, I think I can take over from here. In the meantime, I will consider your invention and if it has merit, we will make a version to bring to market. The next that Madame rings the bell, come back prepared because I’ll be instructing you in a new technique from the continent that I learned from General Jean Lafitte himself, the Chattahoochee Gamahuche.”

Godfrey slowly removed his hand and stood erect (in more ways than one) which elicited a little buttock wiggle from the doctor as he descended the last quarter inch between milady’s thighs. “Gamahuche?” thought Godfrey as he reluctantly left the room, “what in the world is that?”.


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Historical Note from wikipedia : But it wasn’t until 1929 that a physician named Dr. Earle Haas patented and invented the modern-day tampon (with applicator). He came up with the idea during a trip to California, where a friend told him how she was able to improvise a more comfortable and effective alternative to the commonly used and bulky external pads by simply inserting a piece of sponge on the inside, rather than outside. At the time, doctors were using plugs of cotton to staunch secretions and so he suspected a compressed form of cotton would absorb just as well.