Random Thoughts

I know that Ill never marry again. It’s a surprise that I ever did in the first place. I often wonder what might have been, my ex-husband and I had dated for seven years before we were married. We had broken up four times during and each one I had spent our break up experimenting. The last time was a few weeks after graduation and it lasted almost six months. I was only 22 and still shy. Would I have spent those eight years the same way, or did I need the jolt of my divorce to put me over the edge?
The fantasies were always there, I wanted to have sex with two men as far back as being sexually active. I always wanted lots of partners, but I wasn’t confident in myself or my body. During our six months break up I “dated” four men. it was summer I was wasn’t working yet, so I spent my summer days sunbathing and my nights and weekends having lots of sex. It was like a precursor, I was so young and wide eyed. I didn’t know any better I was excited to find one man to fuck and then four! I didn’t really understand the power of the pussy back then. I was like putty with each of them, so eager to please in any way.
Its hard to say how things would have gone. I was still so young and my ex called me in December and we got back together. I guess I got married because that what society says you’re supposed to do.
Being divorced helps me now because people would wonder if I had never been marred. Now they just think that I was hurt or am just afraid of getting hurt again. I have friends who occasionally set me up on dates. I kind of love it because I can bring both worlds so close together. I always fuck on the first date and I always swallow too. I try to give multiple blowjons each date too. Usually they’re a friend of the husband so I always hope that they talk afterwards. I know that some do because I can see it in their eyes the next time I see them. I will call the date guy after to reward him with more for being a good predicable boy.