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Minister Of Old Bad Jokes

Minister Of Old Bad Jokes

1. Why did the chicken cross the road?-----To show the possum it could be done.
2. Why did the rooster cross the road?------Because his dick was stuck in the chicken.
3. What do you get when you give a 14 year old boy viagra?------A 15 year old boy with Carpal Tunnel Syndrome.
4. A housewife and a sex ther****t are at a party. The sex ther****t asks the housewife "Do you know what your asshole does while your having sex?". The housewife calmly replies "Yes he is out deer hunting".
5.Why do they call it "PMS"?------ Because "Mad Cow Disease" was already taken.
6. "Oral B"..... Floyd's nickname for Aunt Bea down at the barbershop.
7. When asked "Why did you name your game character MyXWife?" I replied because "Fat Nagging Bitch" was already taken.
8. Try "John Wayne" brand toilet paper. Our motto is "Its rough and tough and does not take shit off anybody"
9. "Pokemon" takes on a whole different meaning in a Jamaican Prison
10. Just remember on your driving test... a fart is a turd honking for right of way.
11. What happens when you play a country music song in reverse? You get your house back, You get your wife back, You get your truck back, You get your dog back.
12. “I don’t know anybody that’s ever died from smoking pot. But a friend of mine said a bale fell on him and it hurt him pretty bad" Willie Nelson 4/29/19
13. I picked up a girl at a bar and took her home. She had so many pussy piercings it sounded like i was fucking a set of wind chimes.
14. How many guitar players does it take to screw in a light bulb?------Five. One to do it and Four to stand around and say "I can do that".
15. How does Lassie like her sex?------- Ruff Ruff
16. A semi trailer full of Victoria's Secret bras overturned on the Interstate . They had to shut the highway down from exits 32A to 38D.
17. My milf neighbor asked for help with some carpentry in her apartment. She said I was recommended by her friend Roberta in 3B who told her I was "damn good at nailing, banging and screwing."
18. Jesus died for our sins so if we don't sin he died for nothing!
19. Why do Scotsmen wear kilts?-------Because Sheep can hear a zipper.
20. "Rodeo Sex" is when she in on all fours and you grab her hair then shout out the name of your last girlfriend and see if you can hang on for eight seconds.
21. Why is Lite Beer like sex in a canoe?-----Because they are both fucking near water
22. My sister got a phone call from a guy who told her "If you can guess what i have in my hand now you can have it"?. She replied "If it just fits in one hand you can keep it".
Published by midgetkitty
7 years ago
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12
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Toon-In 3 years ago
Great ones!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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drgoodhead
drgoodhead 4 years ago
A vulture attempted to board a commercial airline flight with two dead squirrels in plastic shopping bags.  But he was unsuccessful because TSA rules specify only one carrion per person.
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bigbeaverbill
bigbeaverbill 5 years ago
Fine collect of ones I had not heard!
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badeye
badeye 5 years ago
Now that's FUNNY:smile:
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Byron8by7
What do you call a blonde standing on her head?

A brunette.
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Byron8by7
The past, the present, and the future all walked into a bar. Things became tense.
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Byron8by7
A priest, a rabbi, and a blonde walked into a bar. The bartender says, "What is this, a joke?"
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Byron8by7
Why does it take four women with PMS to screw in a light bulb?

It just DOES, OKAY ???!!!
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mrtvboxer
mrtvboxer 6 years ago
lol
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bluetay27 6 years ago
to drgoodhead : i had to google what the syndrome was...................lol
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bluetay27 6 years ago
i like number 2
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drgoodhead
drgoodhead 6 years ago
Thanks for number 3.  I never heard that one before.
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