Lederhosen GangBang
(Please refer to the Lederhosen GangBang photo gallery-I tried every possible link and they didnt work.)
A while back I was minding my own business looking around different porn sites when I saw LederhosenGangBang which I figured was some kind of sick joke. And I was right. Although it IS an accurate name because...well, see for yourself
They aren't ALL wearing Lederhosen which is pretty disappointing, it can't be all that difficult to find another XXL pair over there. At any rate I was going to close that screen but there was something...oh, compelling about the images. They exert a kind of sick fascination, and I couldn't help but stare at them in the same way one might stare at the results of one of those grinding all-day car accidents. And I want to assure you that I didn't jerk off while looking at the LederhosenGangBang videos, any more than I would jerk off over the results of one of those all-day car accidents...mainly because that would be way too J.G. Ballard-y.
Anyway, I couldn't help but notice that the gentlemen there appear to be a few chromosomes short of their allotment of 23 from each parent. Maybe quite a few, depending on how much toe-webbing and extra sets of teeth they are equipped with. One of them might bite your forearm in order to make you drop that pig leg you were gnawing on and much to your surprise you notice an imbedded tooth. Which is pulsating painfully as though injecting some kind of venom, which is crazy thinking but dammit you dropped your pig leg and he grabbed it before it hit the ground, scuttling away with it quickly. A dog would have his tail raised triumphantly, and for all you know Mr. Lederhosen might have one of those vestigial tails that you have read about.
Now your forearm is REALLY throbbing so you yank the tooth out and tell yourself 'Probably not rabid'. Although you are feeling thirsty all of a sudden...
Maybe it's that photo that's making you feel parched-it is the Tyrolean version of GLOW and you think of various words that could easily replace 'Gorgeous' but you are not THAT mean-spirited. Not yet anyway. The audience there looks...well I assume they have been emptying those garbage-can-sized beer mugs at a pretty good pace, full of good German bier which has been made to specifications that Martin Luther hammered into the door of his local Archdiocese for fucks sake, maybe update it every few centuries eh? No, don't be hasty, and when you are THAT drunk the only ingredient in beer you can remember is beer. Anyway, audience is drunk, so are the wrestlers and what wrestling has to do with Lederhosen is a mystery. Wrestling with a belly of beer sounds like a bad idea, but maybe the Lederhosen kind of holds it in place, I don't know.
Now THAT picture-what is the German term for 'cocktail wiener'? Oddly enough google translate says it is 'cocktail wiener' which sounds pretty suspicious, but I have no idea so we'll go with that. Micro-dick is probably universally understood, especially if you stick out your pinkie finger, then curl it so it looks like a shriveled up shrimp from last week's salad. Got that, Johann? Gut. The woman there looks like she is saying 'Mein gott!' Or something equally insulting, I think I have established my lack of knowledge of German so feel free to improvise.
And the final photo is...well...I have to say the Ed Grimley hairdo is...not cute...or even remotely attractive, but it IS amusing in a 'no, don't get up, I will just show myself to the door and run screaming into the heart of an almost impenetrable darkness' which might be the Black Forest, might be the dark alley you have vague memories of wandering along back before the world turned into a blackened hollowed-out stump. And speaking of stumps, they at least seem to work as the formerly Lederhosened group has spewed out their chromosomally-deficient genetic slime on the ladies-'Hey laaayyydeees!' Good luck washing it off, try an autoclave is my suggestion.
Well, I hope this has been an edifying cautionary tale. The moral of our fable is "hopeless is the new 'could be worse'" and close quotes, close your eyes, close the lid, good night.
A while back I was minding my own business looking around different porn sites when I saw LederhosenGangBang which I figured was some kind of sick joke. And I was right. Although it IS an accurate name because...well, see for yourself
They aren't ALL wearing Lederhosen which is pretty disappointing, it can't be all that difficult to find another XXL pair over there. At any rate I was going to close that screen but there was something...oh, compelling about the images. They exert a kind of sick fascination, and I couldn't help but stare at them in the same way one might stare at the results of one of those grinding all-day car accidents. And I want to assure you that I didn't jerk off while looking at the LederhosenGangBang videos, any more than I would jerk off over the results of one of those all-day car accidents...mainly because that would be way too J.G. Ballard-y.
Anyway, I couldn't help but notice that the gentlemen there appear to be a few chromosomes short of their allotment of 23 from each parent. Maybe quite a few, depending on how much toe-webbing and extra sets of teeth they are equipped with. One of them might bite your forearm in order to make you drop that pig leg you were gnawing on and much to your surprise you notice an imbedded tooth. Which is pulsating painfully as though injecting some kind of venom, which is crazy thinking but dammit you dropped your pig leg and he grabbed it before it hit the ground, scuttling away with it quickly. A dog would have his tail raised triumphantly, and for all you know Mr. Lederhosen might have one of those vestigial tails that you have read about.
Now your forearm is REALLY throbbing so you yank the tooth out and tell yourself 'Probably not rabid'. Although you are feeling thirsty all of a sudden...
Maybe it's that photo that's making you feel parched-it is the Tyrolean version of GLOW and you think of various words that could easily replace 'Gorgeous' but you are not THAT mean-spirited. Not yet anyway. The audience there looks...well I assume they have been emptying those garbage-can-sized beer mugs at a pretty good pace, full of good German bier which has been made to specifications that Martin Luther hammered into the door of his local Archdiocese for fucks sake, maybe update it every few centuries eh? No, don't be hasty, and when you are THAT drunk the only ingredient in beer you can remember is beer. Anyway, audience is drunk, so are the wrestlers and what wrestling has to do with Lederhosen is a mystery. Wrestling with a belly of beer sounds like a bad idea, but maybe the Lederhosen kind of holds it in place, I don't know.
Now THAT picture-what is the German term for 'cocktail wiener'? Oddly enough google translate says it is 'cocktail wiener' which sounds pretty suspicious, but I have no idea so we'll go with that. Micro-dick is probably universally understood, especially if you stick out your pinkie finger, then curl it so it looks like a shriveled up shrimp from last week's salad. Got that, Johann? Gut. The woman there looks like she is saying 'Mein gott!' Or something equally insulting, I think I have established my lack of knowledge of German so feel free to improvise.
And the final photo is...well...I have to say the Ed Grimley hairdo is...not cute...or even remotely attractive, but it IS amusing in a 'no, don't get up, I will just show myself to the door and run screaming into the heart of an almost impenetrable darkness' which might be the Black Forest, might be the dark alley you have vague memories of wandering along back before the world turned into a blackened hollowed-out stump. And speaking of stumps, they at least seem to work as the formerly Lederhosened group has spewed out their chromosomally-deficient genetic slime on the ladies-'Hey laaayyydeees!' Good luck washing it off, try an autoclave is my suggestion.
Well, I hope this has been an edifying cautionary tale. The moral of our fable is "hopeless is the new 'could be worse'" and close quotes, close your eyes, close the lid, good night.
7 years ago
