My Rant About FWB on XHamster

Okay this is my rant on FWB. Friends with Benefits, just so you know. Now I know we are all on XHamster for porn, hook ups, fwb's and sex chatting. This is not a social network where we exchange recipes and movie reviews. But this is not Tinder nor Craigslist hook up personals either.

So why am I here? To find a FWB. That means no quickie hook ups. I want a friend for an ongoing sexual friendship. Key word is friendship. Just like in regular life, it takes a while for a friendship to develop where you feel comfortable thinking of someone as a good friend. That to me is the definition of a friend. It doesn't happen in 5 minutes or in one chat. It takes a little bit of time.

Now for me, I need to get to know the person I that plan to have a sexual encounter with. I need to get to know the person, talk on phone, see if the chemistry happens also when we are talking and not just seeing words in an online chat. I need to feel secure that we are on the same page sexually and not be surprised that the guy I chose is into something too freaky for me. All that takes a little bit of time, be patient, it will be all worth it.

The last thing I need to do is make sure I am safe. In this day and age there are dangerous situations that occur. I, for one, do not want my encounters to end badly or dangerously for me. I need to verify the person is real, the person is safe and sane, and that he cares enough about me to make sure I feel secure and not vulnerable. That takes some time. So you guys gotta be frank and open with me about yourself, your relationship situation and your sexual preferences. If you don't want to cuz you feel invaded or uncomfortable with the truth, then I am not the partner for you.

So please don't push me to have sex with you immediately. Please don't get impatient after a few chats and please don't push me beyond my comfort zone. But most of all, please don't talk to me hot and heavy for a few days and then become impatient and disappear. And then come back to me weeks later and want to pick up where we left off. If you disappear, stay that way. The trust is gone, okay? I am not going to invest my time and my effort getting to know you and share myself with you only to have it be wasted by impatience. It feels disrespectful, rejecting, and abandoning.

Now I say all this cuz it has happened to me with several guys I thought I was connecting with. Some were married and I suppose decided they didn't want a FWB after all, some were single or had a girlfriend and decided it was too much effort for me or too much time and only wanted a quick fuck...which is fine if you want that, but I do not. Whatever you decide, just do one thing ...send me a note letting me know you changed your mind and don't just disappear. I am sure you wouldn't want that to happen to you if you started to like someone and were anticipating a fun and enjoyable sexual situation. So don't do that to me or any other women on this site.

If you don't want to invest time, info and effort for an ongoing FWB relationship with me, then don't start working towards it, okay? It's as simple as that. If you just want a fuck, keep it that way. I am sure there are plenty out here that want that as well. I am not really into that. Been there, done that, moved on to a more fulfilling sexual relationship with just enough caring involved. I am not looking for a boyfriend, I am taken. I am looking for a friend to fuck.

Thanks for reading my rant and remember, don't just disappear on someone you are chatting with, unless of course they are crazy....just sent an PM note and say you are moving on and wish them well. Be kind. Be respectful. Be safe. And have fun.