This.

"Kink shaming is fucking ridiculous. You can be a feminist and enjoy degradation or being choked. Who the fuck are you to tell people that the things they enjoy are abuse if they’re consenting and their partner and them have complete trust and understanding? BDSM is NOT anti women. It’s not unhealthy, and it doesn’t have anything to do with abuse. It has everything to do with people exploring themselves and enjoying different sexual aspects in a safe space. If someone’s sex life doesn’t affect you stay then fuck out of it. WOMEN WHO ENJOY BEING SUBMISSIVE AND MEN WHO ENJOY BEING DOMINANT CAN ALSO BE FEMINISTS."

--via tumblr

I want to add that there are men who enjoy being submissive and women who enjoy being dominant as well -- and that shouldn't be judged either.

Published by laurrren

8 years ago

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schreiberling69 4 years ago

yes

BBCluvs2lick 5 years ago

Yess ..... I am a dom guy guy but I am sub when I am pleasing a woman orally so , yea ppl just don’t get it

Bloodwood37 6 years ago

absolutely right !! I have been submissive all my life, but have relished the strength of a true S/M relationship where that collective value drives the outcome for both parties..... is that different to vanilla, NO! it is just the parameters of the relationship are built on different personal strengths and needs. commitment to social values like equality and diversity has nothing to do with it at all.

apples20141984 7 years ago

Well said

blus_lvr 8 years ago

Just getting to this. Smdh. Amen sis. Wait.... oh yeah ....

shadowrider77 8 years ago

Hell to the yeah...
Well said.

bigfella1313 8 years ago

It took meeting a couple of girls here, really getting to know them and listening to them explain this sort of thing to me for me to begin to understand the whole dom-sub thing. Years past, I'd see porn clips like this and I'd get enraged at how "mean" these guys would be to these beautiful girls nice enough to rub uglies with them. I'd want to kick their asses for doing that shit, even as I struggled to understand why, deep down, it turned me on to see it, too.
And I spent pretty much my entire sex life fighting against that stuff, which seemed to always want to surface every time the blood is up, turning a grab for the neck into a hand on their shoulder at the last second, or struggling NOT to fuck them even harder when I hear a squeal of discomfort when I plunged in a little too deep, or rearing back to smack an ass but turning it into a more gentle grope instead. Always fighting those urges because I thought it meant there was something wrong with me-- I was raised by a strong mother, a feminist by most measures, and all my life I've been interested in and looked up to strong, confident women. So why did I have to struggle with wanting to "abuse" them when I was having sex? Why did it just keep rising up time and again? Was I some closet misogynist, in denial of my true nature? I really felt a lot of conflict about it and didn't have anyone to talk to about it, either.

But now while I still don't really have any experience with this sort of thing, I do have a much more nuanced understanding of this kind of "play", thanks to the patience and candor of a few folks willing to discuss it with me here, in particular, and I don't beat myself up for struggling with these urges anymore. I get that it's a natural outgrowth of these traditional gender roles, and sometimes sexual "play" means at terms either amplifying or subverting those gender roles, the biological imperatives behind our mating, and so I'm confident I'm not some "sicko" that wants to abuse women, I just have a natural dominant streak (during sex, I'm pretty laid back otherwise) and while i may not get to express that, ever, it doesn't mean there's something wrong with feeling that way.
I feel like I've grown a bit as a person from that realization, and it's been an important step in my journey of self-discovery. It's late in life for that sort of thing, I guess, but things happen when they happen, nothing for it.

Good post, though, sorry for the long comment but it's something I've thought a lot about.

Jc2xxx 8 years ago

Well said !!
x

BOOM. *mic-drop*

bimalong 8 years ago

I love the power of being in control, but I ALSO love the power of letting a woman choke me or grab my hair and fuck my face, using me as her toy.

JackEagle 8 years ago

Entering into the world of BDSM, searching for submission or to dominate, requires understanding, desires, limits trust and safety. If the partners are consenting, it may not be someone elses cup of tea, but certainly not their place to judge something they know little about. The Dom(me) facilitates the subs' desires within the limits, understanding the needs and safety.

lroy1369 8 years ago

And that's how it is and should be looked at. Great job explaining it.

lovintexas63 8 years ago

I like it. Whatever happened to the notion of other people just minding their own business?

laurrren Publisher 8 years ago

to christianbalerant : Exactly!

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jonny8884 8 years ago

Nice post, could not agree more, to each their own kink, judge not as long as kids are not involved.

christianbalerant 8 years ago

Seriously, I think I've gotten more power and more of what I want from being submissive at times than my male partner. I can so easily control a man like that.

christianbalerant 8 years ago

Sorry, I think I dreamt that or something. It just came out.

christianbalerant 8 years ago

Go ahead and cum, slut! Cum while your belt is fucking you in the ass! Friend buried his cock balls-deep inside me again. When she did, she stretched out her hand stroked my dick, began to masturbate . The most subtle touch of her hands was enough to give sperm. Cum erupted in several hot, sticky blasts from my dick as my body convulsed with the f***E of my orgasm. The girl, her cock still deep inside me, lay on her back, her full, lush Breasts pressed against me. Just at that moment, I heard the entrance door opened and I heard footsteps moving toward the living room. very good scene!

peaches4me 8 years ago

As long as all parties are in agreement ...

nightskies 8 years ago

I don't believe my statement contained any commands, sooo... okay?

blus_lvr 8 years ago

wtf?

nvm

laurrren Publisher 8 years ago

to MasterPerv : hahah, i live on tumblr. glad you approve

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MasterPerv 8 years ago

I just wanna say for the record...I Love ♥♥Tumblr and I Love that You ♥♥ Love Tumblr

Anyone who references Tumblr..is always a Pal of mine!! Tumbl on

n2oral 8 years ago

Sexuality is part of our personality, and exploring who we are sexually is just as important to discovering who we are as finding out that we enjoy new foods or new music we've never tried before. The Puritan attitudes about what's the only "proper" way to have sex are a disease that has caused so much suffering over the past 500 years it's sickening. Submission requires trust, and is a proof that a person feels very safe with another.

DanielPortenio 8 years ago

to mike0207 : I second!

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edintx99 8 years ago

Isn't the feeling you receive when you share your own secret desire unconditionally, or someone shares their with you, almost as lusciously erotic as the act of performing it together. I know the anticipation thus developed has a BIG effect for me. And as long as that kink is non-destructive to your partner, it's a wonderful thing.

nightskies 8 years ago

This passage sums it up quite nicely. BDSM has no impact on a woman's strength and personal self worth as a woman, none at all. It's simply something that one enjoys as a sexual being, and has nothing to do with one's place in society. A woman should be viewed by her accomplishments, both professional and personal, in whatever vein that they occur. If a woman runs of Fortune 500 corporation or is a neurosurgeon or a systems architect and then goes home and likes being tied up and spanked, that does not make her less of a strong person with great leadership qualities. It just gets her off, nothing wrong with that at all. As a society, we need to stop putting labels on people because of sexual identities. People's (regardless of gender) sexual likes and dislikes are their business, and no one else, unless they make it others business. Sometimes I think it's hard for certain segments of our society (especially in this country) to embrace change and the shifting ideals of what is "normal".

blus_lvr 8 years ago

Well said gf

laurrren Publisher 8 years ago

so, so very true!

mike0207 8 years ago

Everybody has their own standards. Some people like things other people wouldn't even dream of. Let everybody have their own party. Live and let live

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