How I became a crossdresser the begininnig

I always knew I was different wearing girls panties under my cloths since I was about 20 but never had sex with a man until I was 30,I moved in an apartment and had got real good friend with a white guy name Bill who lived upstairs from me for some reason he seem to find my fetish for watching porn so he made several copies for me and we would watch them down in my apartment, I would always drink some wine and smoke a joint as he was there with me and after the first couple time I started just wearing tight shorts as he was down with my panties underneath testing him and there was no way he couldn't notice especially when I would wear white short that did nothing to hide the panties underneath.
I would be so buzzed and I noticed hat he always would wear sweats down and as we watched the movies he wold get so hard and there was no way I couldn't notice but being so buzzed I would pass out laying down on my couch with him there then one time I noticed as I was passed out he was over next to me and he called my name, I didn't say anything then to my surprise he started feeling my butt rubbing and clutching my cheeks pretty good it felt really nice and I was enjoying it wondering how far he was going to go with it, again he said my name a few times and since I didn't respond he assumed I was really out pulling my shorts down now rubbing my butt on my panties covered bottom then he pulled my panties down and started feeling my bare butt for a couple minutes even wetting his finger and fingering my ass I though I was going to explode and couldn't help it moaning and rolling my hips to him them he stopped and was standing over me, I wasn't sure what he was doing but I could hear him breathing hard but soon found out when I felt the splatter of fluid landing on my butt he was jacking off cumming on me and not just a little but alot oh my I thought then once he was done he pulled my panties back up but left my shorts at my ankles, I kind of glanced up at him as he puled his sweats back up he patted me on my ass then left I reached back after he left my ass was soaked in his cum I went locked the door and fell asleep with my wet panties on.
The next time I saw him neither one of us said a thing about what happen but on the next weekend he was down again with us watching porn and the same thing happened me getting buzzed semi passing out on the couch and him feeling me up and jacking off cumming on my ass pulling my panties back up leaving my ass coated with his cum, he did this 3 straight weekend only on the third time as he was jerking off on me he came down and I felt him push the head of his cock in my ass for a couple seconds I moaned when he did then he pulled out and came on my ass again then left me with a wet ass and shorts down as he always does and at this point I knew then I wanted him to fuck me.
The next time he came down I had a surprise for him when he got there this time I wasn't wearing shorts just a t shirt that barely covered my panty covered bottom he didn't say anything just smiled when he saw me, now I smoked a couple joints before he got there to give me the courage to let him see me like this after putting the video in this time I came and sat right next to him not on the love seat across from him like I usually do, we started watching the movie and as usual he was hard only this time more than usual, I thought to myself could I really do what i was thinking and go through with it but I knew I had to reaching over without looking at him I began to rub his cock pumping it up and down he didn't say a thing just let me then I pulled his sweats down pumped it a few more times then just leaned over in his lap and began sucking him his hard dick felt so good in my mouth as I worked on it for a few minutes slowly letting it pop from my lips looking up at him he was just grinning.
I wasn't sure what to think so I got up went in my bedroom thinking what have I done but was still excited by this going back out to him telling him to stand up, he took me in his arms and I embraced him in a long kiss this was my first time kissing another man but it felt so good in his arms as we exchange tongues in each others mouth then he put his hands on my shoulders pushing me down on my knees in front of him and I just reached and sucked him again on my knees before he pulled me up kissing me again for a few minutes it was so passionate then I told him to lay on the floor as I got over him pulled my panties to the side and lowered myself down working his cock in me and it felt wonderful then I just rode him and it took him a few minutes and he exploded cumming inside me and I loved how it felt and I couldn't wait to do it again