Why some women scream and others just lie there
I used to try to stifle my noises and screams but realized that in doing so, I stifled my orgasms and that was no fun at all. Many years ago, when I was much younger, I dated a premature ejaculator who, after his orgasm, was completely done with the act of sex. He would do nothing to try to bring pleasure to me and I was too inhibited to try to do it myself. This went on for maybe a year and I ended up with the female equivalent of blue balls and had tremendous pelvic pain all the time. After he and I broke up, I had a time where I was unable to orgasm since I was practically trained to believe that it wouldn't happen for me, so I wouldn't bother and could avoid the pain.
And THEN, I bought my first Hitachi Magic Wand and remembered how good it felt to cum. After that, I would accept no less from lovers. They were (and still are) required to give me at least one mindblowing orgasm when we play or they are not welcome in my bed and not invited back to try again. If I'm being generous, think a lover has potential and that he gave a good effort in wanting to please me, I'll allow him one free pass. But only one. I have little patience for men who only care about themselves. And I give them explicit directions on how to bring me to orgasm, feedback and the tools to do so if they don't have what it takes due to injury, illness, disability or more likely, fatigue.
I'm not a complete diva about it and make him do all the work. I try to give him as much pleasure as I'd like to receive and make every effort to make him happy. But I won't lie back and be a doormat about it either. I am a very receptive and expressive lover and men know where I stand, so to speak.
My noises and responses are never fake. I give in to my sexuality and allow it to take me as far as it will go. It is definitely a partnership where my lover and I communicate and guide each other on what feels best or what could be done to really get us off. I've found myself laughing sometimes at the noises I make or the things I say because they're my candid and uncensored thoughts and things get out of control. Sometimes my screams escalate until they're extremely loud and I'm certain that either the neighbors can hear them and think someone is being murdered and will call the police. Or that they're so high-pitched that only dogs can hear them. There is no doubt my neighbors know my lovers names. Some of my vocal guidance are the usual yeses, moans, panting at the like but sometimes directions like, "A little to the left. No, maybe the other left. A little higher. Higher. Higher. OH, GOD, YES!" Followed by the aforementioned screams.
One of the most recent embarrassing things I said right before orgasming was, "Mmm, yeah. Yes. Yes! Here we go!" Followed by high-pitched screaming until I could recover my senses enough to be back in my head enough to try to gain control again. I started laughing and shaking my head because I felt like such a jackass having said that out loud. It's something I've often thought before cumming but until then, had never said to a lover. It was pretty much a rollercoaster ride. I felt my orgasm climbing higher and higher until it reached the pinnacle and the waves of my orgasm took both of us there. Afterward, while we were catching our breath and becoming aware that there was a real world that existed outside of our pleasure, he kind of chuckled and said he thought it was hot when I said that. I told him I felt like a jackass. But he said that it was so sexy and that he knew he was doing the right thing and kept on doing it to make me cum. And that it really turned him on when I lost control like that.
I don't make noises just for my lovers, I make similar noises when I'm by myself and my only audience is a cat sitting at the foot of the bed, silently judging me for being a disgusting human with disgusting human needs.
I often joke that women should not fake orgasms but should fake not having them so men try harder and give us multiple orgasms. As in, "Did you cum?" "No, but I'm really close. Do it harder, faster, more, a little to the left. A little to the other left. Oh, yeah. There!" And then, "Oh, I was almost there. Do it again." I was once called a sexist and read the riot act on a message board by some man who said it was wrong of me to do that. It's just a joke. Geez. You would think a man would want to make sure a woman is completely satisfied. Oh, well.
I disagree with most of what one man suggested in a post on a message board, but in part, he's correct about some women being inhibited and not knowing what a true orgasm feels like. But I don't think it is the fault of the woman or that she deceptive in any way. It's more the fault of society and the media for presenting women in a certain light that real women could never measure up to. And the fault of men for believing the myths and for thinking that they are God's gift to women and that their penises and the act of sex alone is all that is needed to make women cum. They don't learn the most basic genital anatomy and trust that their uneducated fumbling are enough. And some are too arrogant to take direction or to think what works for ONE woman works for ALL women. Or that they don't pay attention to their partner's subtle physical and vocal responses to learn what excites them and how to fine tune their motions to make her cum.
Couples need to communicate and to treat lovemaking as the intimate act that it is. Most men need to slow down and listen more. Only then will they find the physical, emotional and spiritual path to their lover's desires and know once and for all how to please her and end this foolishness of "did she or didn't she" for all.
And THEN, I bought my first Hitachi Magic Wand and remembered how good it felt to cum. After that, I would accept no less from lovers. They were (and still are) required to give me at least one mindblowing orgasm when we play or they are not welcome in my bed and not invited back to try again. If I'm being generous, think a lover has potential and that he gave a good effort in wanting to please me, I'll allow him one free pass. But only one. I have little patience for men who only care about themselves. And I give them explicit directions on how to bring me to orgasm, feedback and the tools to do so if they don't have what it takes due to injury, illness, disability or more likely, fatigue.
I'm not a complete diva about it and make him do all the work. I try to give him as much pleasure as I'd like to receive and make every effort to make him happy. But I won't lie back and be a doormat about it either. I am a very receptive and expressive lover and men know where I stand, so to speak.
My noises and responses are never fake. I give in to my sexuality and allow it to take me as far as it will go. It is definitely a partnership where my lover and I communicate and guide each other on what feels best or what could be done to really get us off. I've found myself laughing sometimes at the noises I make or the things I say because they're my candid and uncensored thoughts and things get out of control. Sometimes my screams escalate until they're extremely loud and I'm certain that either the neighbors can hear them and think someone is being murdered and will call the police. Or that they're so high-pitched that only dogs can hear them. There is no doubt my neighbors know my lovers names. Some of my vocal guidance are the usual yeses, moans, panting at the like but sometimes directions like, "A little to the left. No, maybe the other left. A little higher. Higher. Higher. OH, GOD, YES!" Followed by the aforementioned screams.
One of the most recent embarrassing things I said right before orgasming was, "Mmm, yeah. Yes. Yes! Here we go!" Followed by high-pitched screaming until I could recover my senses enough to be back in my head enough to try to gain control again. I started laughing and shaking my head because I felt like such a jackass having said that out loud. It's something I've often thought before cumming but until then, had never said to a lover. It was pretty much a rollercoaster ride. I felt my orgasm climbing higher and higher until it reached the pinnacle and the waves of my orgasm took both of us there. Afterward, while we were catching our breath and becoming aware that there was a real world that existed outside of our pleasure, he kind of chuckled and said he thought it was hot when I said that. I told him I felt like a jackass. But he said that it was so sexy and that he knew he was doing the right thing and kept on doing it to make me cum. And that it really turned him on when I lost control like that.
I don't make noises just for my lovers, I make similar noises when I'm by myself and my only audience is a cat sitting at the foot of the bed, silently judging me for being a disgusting human with disgusting human needs.
I often joke that women should not fake orgasms but should fake not having them so men try harder and give us multiple orgasms. As in, "Did you cum?" "No, but I'm really close. Do it harder, faster, more, a little to the left. A little to the other left. Oh, yeah. There!" And then, "Oh, I was almost there. Do it again." I was once called a sexist and read the riot act on a message board by some man who said it was wrong of me to do that. It's just a joke. Geez. You would think a man would want to make sure a woman is completely satisfied. Oh, well.
I disagree with most of what one man suggested in a post on a message board, but in part, he's correct about some women being inhibited and not knowing what a true orgasm feels like. But I don't think it is the fault of the woman or that she deceptive in any way. It's more the fault of society and the media for presenting women in a certain light that real women could never measure up to. And the fault of men for believing the myths and for thinking that they are God's gift to women and that their penises and the act of sex alone is all that is needed to make women cum. They don't learn the most basic genital anatomy and trust that their uneducated fumbling are enough. And some are too arrogant to take direction or to think what works for ONE woman works for ALL women. Or that they don't pay attention to their partner's subtle physical and vocal responses to learn what excites them and how to fine tune their motions to make her cum.
Couples need to communicate and to treat lovemaking as the intimate act that it is. Most men need to slow down and listen more. Only then will they find the physical, emotional and spiritual path to their lover's desires and know once and for all how to please her and end this foolishness of "did she or didn't she" for all.
9 years ago
