Impromptu dildos
Impromptu Dildos
As you may have already read from earlier notes, I love using dildos. It’s my personal opinion that dildos (or other items used for prolonged insertion), vibrators and butt plugs are three completely different aids. I purchased my first vibrator in the late 70s from a branch of Ann Summers. The Ann Summers shops then were completely different to what they are today and mainly carried sex toys, books and skimpy underwear. The sheer mention of a vibrator at teacher training college would have everyone in giggles, but my need to try one drove me to visit the Ann Summers shop one quiet afternoon and purchase one.
I’ve always found vibrators harsh. They are usually hard pieces of plastic, ribbed, smooth or sometimes textured with an electric motor and batteries. I instantly found that my clitoris didn’t like the vibrations, I much preferred light pressure or the sensual touch. I also found that inserting the vibrator and keeping it inside me wasn’t the most comfortable thing either. For me, the vibrator took up residence at the back of the drawer of my bedside cabinet. Having said that, I’ve found a few uses for the few vibrators I’ve acquired over the years; they’re especially useful as an ‘opener’ in preparation for the butt plug. I have three vibrators to this day; one 4” and one 6” that are beige and ribbed, the other is gold in colour with a black base and about 8” long and the diameter of a golf ball. None of these vibrators have batteries, but as I mentioned, I use them as ‘openers’ for when I’m ‘exercising’ myself and getting lubricated in preparation for one of my butt plugs.
The dildo is something else! I didn’t purchase my first proper dildo until I was in my mid to late 20s; say the mid 80s. However, up until that time I made do with what I call ‘impromptu dildos’. I remember reading in Forum in the early 80s (yes, Forum has a lot to answer for where my sex education and preferences are concerned!) a letter from a lady that commented that she hated feeling ‘empty’ when having an orgasm whilst masturbating. She mentioned that would always ensure she had her dildo with her wherever she went so that if she masturbated, she could always orgasm with something ‘filling her’. I also remember another letter from a lady entitled ‘wearing it out’, which I’ll mention later. These two letters I remember as influencing me with regards to dildo wearing.
In the early 80s I had to attend a two day seminar and stayed at a small hotel overnight. I had nothing to do but read notes and information from that day’s seminar modules. It was still early when I decided to go to bed, but needed some relief. I started to read a magazine and began to feel wet between the legs at a story I was reading. Before long, I was laying back on the bed, knees raised and parted, masturbating to what looked likely to be a fulfilling orgasm. Just as I was about to orgasm, I recalled the letter in Forum from the lady that felt ‘empty’ when she orgasm’d. I recalled her answer to the problem, jumped up from the bed and rushed to the bathroom. I returned moments later with a condom and a bag of cotton wool. I tore open the condom packet, removed the condom and then made a phallic-shaped object with the cotton wool and rolled the condom over it, knotting it at the end. My hand now held what looked and felt like a real penis; an impromptu dildo! I inserted the dildo into me and within a few moments was bringing myself off to a most rewarding orgasm.
For the next three or four years I would make dildos from all manner of materials, always rolling a condom over them before use. I’ve always been careful about using a condom with everything I’ve inserted (other than the real thing!) as I’ve always been concerned about TST (toxic shock syndrome). Even when I started to use real dildos and I’d be out without one I’ve always managed to make a dildo out of something. I’ve used cotton wool, rolled up stockings, even plasterscene. However, I’ve never used fruit or suchlike. I remember one time when I was shopping in Cambridge and I felt the ‘urge’. I had quite a lot of time on my hands and I wasn’t going to be satisfied with a quick frig in the ladies. Knowing that I would need a ‘satisfier’, I popped into Boots (chemist) and bought a packet of condoms and some heavy flow sanitary towels. In the sanctuary of and lady’s toilets, I took out three sanitary towels from the packet and rolled a condom over them. I was already lubricating and the gusset of my knickers was quite damp. In less than a minute, I’d pulled down my knickers and inserted my impromptu dildo. I must have spent a good half an hour walking around the shops, buying a couple of things and letting my mind wander to the point that I couldn’t refrain from ‘sucking’ on my dildo. Making for a lavatory I knew well, I locked the door, lifted my skirt and brought myself off over my knickers to a most rewarding orgasm.
When I’m wearing a dildo, I can make myself come ’hands off’. This is achieved by the tensing and relaxing of the pelvic floor muscles. I find this is better done when sitting, but If I’m in a safe place, I can achieve an orgasm whilst standing. Can’t say that I can keep still when I come!
The dildo has played big part in my sanity over the years and I’ve tried many variations. The duo-balls are nice to wear, but the most wicked toys for me has to be the love-egg. I bought one in the late 80s/early 90s and never regretted it. It is a little bigger than a large farm egg made of a smooth white plastic. Inside is an extremely heavy ball that moves as you do, rolling around inside the egg inside you. I wouldn’t use the egg purely to masturbate with as I think a dildo is better for that. My main use of my love-egg is to torment me, work me up into a frenzy before I explode as I bring myself off.
The following is something I would do quite often. I would insert my love-egg, pull on a pair of knickers, tights and then put on a body or a panty-corset, so that you can’t access yourself until you remove everything. I would then dress properly over the top and go into the village (don’t drive like this!). It wouldn’t be long before my love-egg is having an effect on me. Within a few minutes the feeling of the egg inside me will begin to make me lubricate. The thoughts of doing something like this will make matters worse and once the metal ball inside the love-egg starts to roll around and bump as I walk, I will want to masturbate. It’s extremely frustrating wearing several layers of underwear over your sex and you can’t even touch yourself discretely. There have been times when I’ve dashed to the ladies and rubbed myself furiously and let go in my clothes as I’ve orgasm’d.
My favourite dildo was originally designed to be worn outwards as well as inwards, but the lightweight removable straps would do little to keep the thing pointing outwards if you were going to use it on someone else. I’ve never really bothered with the straps and removed them in the very early days. The phallic object is around 7” long, has balls and the entire latex dildo is made of a soft latex. It looks and feels lifelike! My passion for this toy is immense. There would be days where I would lubricate it, insert it and pull on a pair of ‘control-knicks’, keeping my ‘lover’ secure inside me. Be it housework, gardening or a stroll into the village, before long I was in need of relief and could have the most satisfying orgasm with my dilly inside me. I remember hearing the word ‘dilly’ used some years ago when in conversation with a few ladies at a health farm. We were discussing sex and one woman, a very attractive lady from the Jamaica, said something like, ‘When the ol’ man isn’t around I just suck on my dilly’. We all screamed with laughter as she demonstrated by spreading her legs wide and pointing to her vagina.
Despite enjoying the real thing more than anything, I don’t think I could get by without my toys!
As you may have already read from earlier notes, I love using dildos. It’s my personal opinion that dildos (or other items used for prolonged insertion), vibrators and butt plugs are three completely different aids. I purchased my first vibrator in the late 70s from a branch of Ann Summers. The Ann Summers shops then were completely different to what they are today and mainly carried sex toys, books and skimpy underwear. The sheer mention of a vibrator at teacher training college would have everyone in giggles, but my need to try one drove me to visit the Ann Summers shop one quiet afternoon and purchase one.
I’ve always found vibrators harsh. They are usually hard pieces of plastic, ribbed, smooth or sometimes textured with an electric motor and batteries. I instantly found that my clitoris didn’t like the vibrations, I much preferred light pressure or the sensual touch. I also found that inserting the vibrator and keeping it inside me wasn’t the most comfortable thing either. For me, the vibrator took up residence at the back of the drawer of my bedside cabinet. Having said that, I’ve found a few uses for the few vibrators I’ve acquired over the years; they’re especially useful as an ‘opener’ in preparation for the butt plug. I have three vibrators to this day; one 4” and one 6” that are beige and ribbed, the other is gold in colour with a black base and about 8” long and the diameter of a golf ball. None of these vibrators have batteries, but as I mentioned, I use them as ‘openers’ for when I’m ‘exercising’ myself and getting lubricated in preparation for one of my butt plugs.
The dildo is something else! I didn’t purchase my first proper dildo until I was in my mid to late 20s; say the mid 80s. However, up until that time I made do with what I call ‘impromptu dildos’. I remember reading in Forum in the early 80s (yes, Forum has a lot to answer for where my sex education and preferences are concerned!) a letter from a lady that commented that she hated feeling ‘empty’ when having an orgasm whilst masturbating. She mentioned that would always ensure she had her dildo with her wherever she went so that if she masturbated, she could always orgasm with something ‘filling her’. I also remember another letter from a lady entitled ‘wearing it out’, which I’ll mention later. These two letters I remember as influencing me with regards to dildo wearing.
In the early 80s I had to attend a two day seminar and stayed at a small hotel overnight. I had nothing to do but read notes and information from that day’s seminar modules. It was still early when I decided to go to bed, but needed some relief. I started to read a magazine and began to feel wet between the legs at a story I was reading. Before long, I was laying back on the bed, knees raised and parted, masturbating to what looked likely to be a fulfilling orgasm. Just as I was about to orgasm, I recalled the letter in Forum from the lady that felt ‘empty’ when she orgasm’d. I recalled her answer to the problem, jumped up from the bed and rushed to the bathroom. I returned moments later with a condom and a bag of cotton wool. I tore open the condom packet, removed the condom and then made a phallic-shaped object with the cotton wool and rolled the condom over it, knotting it at the end. My hand now held what looked and felt like a real penis; an impromptu dildo! I inserted the dildo into me and within a few moments was bringing myself off to a most rewarding orgasm.
For the next three or four years I would make dildos from all manner of materials, always rolling a condom over them before use. I’ve always been careful about using a condom with everything I’ve inserted (other than the real thing!) as I’ve always been concerned about TST (toxic shock syndrome). Even when I started to use real dildos and I’d be out without one I’ve always managed to make a dildo out of something. I’ve used cotton wool, rolled up stockings, even plasterscene. However, I’ve never used fruit or suchlike. I remember one time when I was shopping in Cambridge and I felt the ‘urge’. I had quite a lot of time on my hands and I wasn’t going to be satisfied with a quick frig in the ladies. Knowing that I would need a ‘satisfier’, I popped into Boots (chemist) and bought a packet of condoms and some heavy flow sanitary towels. In the sanctuary of and lady’s toilets, I took out three sanitary towels from the packet and rolled a condom over them. I was already lubricating and the gusset of my knickers was quite damp. In less than a minute, I’d pulled down my knickers and inserted my impromptu dildo. I must have spent a good half an hour walking around the shops, buying a couple of things and letting my mind wander to the point that I couldn’t refrain from ‘sucking’ on my dildo. Making for a lavatory I knew well, I locked the door, lifted my skirt and brought myself off over my knickers to a most rewarding orgasm.
When I’m wearing a dildo, I can make myself come ’hands off’. This is achieved by the tensing and relaxing of the pelvic floor muscles. I find this is better done when sitting, but If I’m in a safe place, I can achieve an orgasm whilst standing. Can’t say that I can keep still when I come!
The dildo has played big part in my sanity over the years and I’ve tried many variations. The duo-balls are nice to wear, but the most wicked toys for me has to be the love-egg. I bought one in the late 80s/early 90s and never regretted it. It is a little bigger than a large farm egg made of a smooth white plastic. Inside is an extremely heavy ball that moves as you do, rolling around inside the egg inside you. I wouldn’t use the egg purely to masturbate with as I think a dildo is better for that. My main use of my love-egg is to torment me, work me up into a frenzy before I explode as I bring myself off.
The following is something I would do quite often. I would insert my love-egg, pull on a pair of knickers, tights and then put on a body or a panty-corset, so that you can’t access yourself until you remove everything. I would then dress properly over the top and go into the village (don’t drive like this!). It wouldn’t be long before my love-egg is having an effect on me. Within a few minutes the feeling of the egg inside me will begin to make me lubricate. The thoughts of doing something like this will make matters worse and once the metal ball inside the love-egg starts to roll around and bump as I walk, I will want to masturbate. It’s extremely frustrating wearing several layers of underwear over your sex and you can’t even touch yourself discretely. There have been times when I’ve dashed to the ladies and rubbed myself furiously and let go in my clothes as I’ve orgasm’d.
My favourite dildo was originally designed to be worn outwards as well as inwards, but the lightweight removable straps would do little to keep the thing pointing outwards if you were going to use it on someone else. I’ve never really bothered with the straps and removed them in the very early days. The phallic object is around 7” long, has balls and the entire latex dildo is made of a soft latex. It looks and feels lifelike! My passion for this toy is immense. There would be days where I would lubricate it, insert it and pull on a pair of ‘control-knicks’, keeping my ‘lover’ secure inside me. Be it housework, gardening or a stroll into the village, before long I was in need of relief and could have the most satisfying orgasm with my dilly inside me. I remember hearing the word ‘dilly’ used some years ago when in conversation with a few ladies at a health farm. We were discussing sex and one woman, a very attractive lady from the Jamaica, said something like, ‘When the ol’ man isn’t around I just suck on my dilly’. We all screamed with laughter as she demonstrated by spreading her legs wide and pointing to her vagina.
Despite enjoying the real thing more than anything, I don’t think I could get by without my toys!
14 years ago
