No - I Won't Cam With You Whenever You Want

I was having fun surfing on XHamster when the message popped up - "Hi"

Being polite, I responded with a "Hi - how are you?", foolishly thinking once again that someone perhaps just wanted to chat.
Yeah - you know where this is going..... within two messages, someone I didn't know wanted to C2C.

No big deal - amirite?

Sure - the first time.... 15 times later that day it gets very, very tired....

And then, I stumbled arcross pobox731's blog post and felt compelled to reply...... and a page later realized that I prob should make my own post - haha.

Here is what our fellow XHamster, pobox731 had to say:


pobox731's Blog 90 Days in the xHamster cage
A few personal observations and thoughts after 90 days of xHamstering

I've met some very nice people. Genuinely friendly, grown-up people who really seem to have their shit together.

I've even met a small number of very special people of whom I've grown quite fond.

Sadly, though, I'd have to admit that I'm greatly disappointed in the self-entitled attitudes that seem to saturate the the vast majority of the community interactions here. This is based on reading a boatload of comments. I guess I shouldn't be surprised at the "I'm only here to rub one out really quickly and after that I'm gone" displays on a porn site.

I've spent more years than I care to admit studying how people interact online. It's been a hobby of mine since the online communities started to flourish. Without fail, it happens in each of them; people losing sight of the fact that the other people are indeed people and not computer-generated entertainment.

Maybe my sample size is too small and I'm drawing completely wrong conclusions.


Hahaha...sorry to say you are bang on the money pobox731.

This must be how the poor clerks at the 24 hr convenience store feel - "Hurry Dammit - I needz my Cheetooz!"

On a per day basis, I get between 15-20 messages, 20-25 friend requests, and varying numbers of comments or replies to comments.
Of those messages, over half are , "Hey", "Hi", "What are you doing right now" or "I'm horny, want to c2c?"
Depending on how long I am on here for, I will get between 5 -15 requests for c2c per day.

When I politely decline as it is not convenient or am unable to for various reasons, it is either met with whining and "weasel-ly" manipulative behaviour, or outright rudeness as if it is my fault that I am not fully prepped wearing lingerie and heels 24/7 to satisfy their needs.

If this is how I feel, and I am only a TV/TG, imagine how all those poor girls or lesbians must feel - they must be getting hounded within inches of their lives.
And while it doesn't excuse it, it does make some of the nastier "Don't request X Fuckers" comments in their "About Me" sections understandable.

So why does this happen?
Well , in an online community - some of our societal norms for accepted behaviour go right out the window...

In complex social systems like groups and organizations, people rarely have the opportunity to act without regard for the social consequences of their actions…. In many of their decisions, people therefore must take the potential social consequences of their actions into account - what will others think, and how will they react (Psychological Perspectives on Ethical Behaviour and Decision Making by David De Cremer)

So, in the context of our conversation, when someone tells you that now is not convenient or that they are not interested - and they are about it, take the hint.... thank them for their time and move on...... like an adult...... better yet.....like a socially and emotionally mature adult.

No names....no shitty comments so you can "get your own back"......

Despite any fantasies to the contrary, people don't enjoy dealing with immature boys and girls.

I have been fortunate enough to greatly enjoy many fun and erotic C2C sessions -but please understand, it is not my life - I don't make my living as a on-cam pornstar.

I personally don't think that there is anything wrong with on-cam models and performers.

In fact - there's a great idea for those of you who need your fix on demand - pay for it. Yeah - you heard me....
Why not create a win-win, you get what you want when you want it and they get some financial rewards for satisfying your desires.

So boys, and some girls, please take a hint and stop behaving badly.

Want to have more success?

Then you need to try to be more engaging- just like on a real date! Shockers - i know right?

So all those one to three word intros - forget it... have something interesting and/or funny to say - everyone enjoys a laugh.....work on your "game" if you must.


Protip: By acting like a fully-formed adult, you will instantly separate yourself from the herd and *gasp* probably get much more of what you were after in the first place.

Sounds like the basis for an interesting Sociology study - Entitlement Bias Within On-Line Communities….

Have fun Hamsters and try to play nicely together please...

XOXO LittleMissLipService