Template for list of fetishes/limits (BDSM)
So I’ve had a few conversations (on and off of here) where the concept of ‘lists’ has come up. For those not familiar, the idea is to share a list with your partner/dom/sub of things you do or don’t enjoy and why, in the interests of learning more about what your partner’s interests are but also their limits too. If nothing else it’s interesting to sit and write your own (even if you don’t share it) purely for the reflection on what you’re into. Anyway, while there’s probably templates out there on the internet I thought I’d share this one with all the hamster community.
I should stress a couple of things upfront. 1) This list is broad and to be honest contains many things I for one am not into. I’ve left it this way as others may be (and frankly who am I to judge!?!). I do suggest though filling the whole thing in, you can learn just as much from what someone isn’t into as you can from what they are. 2) Lists, in my opinion, should be an aid for conversation rather than replacing it. I firmly encourage people to discuss their desires and limits with their partners.
Suggestions for template
Do as you like but what I’ve found works is to paste the below list of fetishes into a table in Word, each with their own row. Have 2 columns to the side. In column one try to put some simple one word categories in along the lines of:
Tried – as in yes, done this before and like it
Not tried – but it interests you or you’d be up for trying it
Soft limit – not ruling it out but possibly uncomfortable with it. Would want to discuss further before doing it.
Hard limit – flat no or uncomfortable with this.
Not interested – Essentially this isn’t being ruled out but it’s just not something which really appeals. Similar to a soft limit perhaps in that you may want to talk about it further.
In the 3rd column put in comments or notes. This is either to explain how you’re defining something (e.g. what one person calls a “hard beating” is subjective) but also put any explanation or qualifying criteria in (e.g. “yes I like being flogged, but not on my tits”). You shouldn’t feel you have to justify any interests/limits, though explaining them really can help the other person better understand you and what you’re into. Also, if completing it as a sub, it’s good here to differentiate what are things you don’t enjoy but that makes them a fun/enjoyable ‘punishment’ vs things which you simply don’t enjoy outright.
Abrasion
Age Play
Anal Sex
a****l Roleplay
Arm & leg sleeves (armbinders)
Asphyxiation
Bathroom use control
Beating (soft)
Beating (hard)
Blindfolding
Being Serviced (sexual)
Biting
Breast/chest bondage
Breath control
Branding
Boot Worship
Bondage (light)
Bondage (heavy)
Bondage (multi-day)
Bondage (public under clothing)
Breast whipping
Brown showers (s**t)
Cages (locked inside)
Caning (specify where)
Cattle prod (electrical toy)
Cells/Closets (locked inside of)
Chains
Chastity belts
Chores (domestic service)
Clothespins
Cock worship
Collars (worn in private)
Collars (worn in public)
Competitions (with other subs)
Corsets (wearing casually)
Cuffs (leather)
Cuffs (metal)
Cum (on body)
Cum (on face)
Cutting
Dilation
Dildos
Double Penetration
Electrical toys
Enemas
Enf*rced chastity
Erotic Dance (for audience)
Examinations (physical)
Exercise (f*rced/required)
Exhibitionism (friends)
Exhibitionism (strangers)
Eye contact restrictions
Face Slapping
Fantasy Abandonment
Fantasy ****
Fantasy gang ****
Fear (being scared)
Fisting (anal)
Fisting (vaginal)
Flame play
Flogging (specify where)
Following orders
Foot worship
F*rced dressing
F*rced eating
F*rced homosexuality
F*rced heterosexuality
F*rced masturbation
F*rced nudity (private)
F*rced nudity (around others)
F*rced Servitude
F*rced smoking
Full head hoods
Gags (cloth)
Gags (hard)
Gags (tape)
Gas masks
Genital sex
Given away to another Dom (temp)
Given away to another Dom (perm)
Golden Showers
Hair pulling
Hand Jobs (giving)
Hand Jobs (receiving)
Harems (serving w/other subs)
Harnessing
Having food chosen for you
Having clothing chosen for you
Head (give fellatio/cunnilingus)
Head (rcv fellation/cunnilingus)
High Heel Wearing
High Heel Worship
Hot oils (on genitals)
Hot waxing
Housework (doing)
Human puppy dog
Humiliation (private)
Humiliation (public)
Hypnotism
Ice cubes
Immobilization
Initiation rites
Injections
Intricate (Japanese) rope bondage/Shibari
Interrogations
k**napping
Kneeling
Knife play
Leather Clothing
Leather restraints
Lectures for misbehavior
Licking (non-sexual, e.g. being told to lick a table clean)
Lingerie (wearing)
Manacles and Irons
Manicures (giving)
Massage (giving)
Massage (receiving)
Medical scenes
Modeling for erotic photos
Mouth bits
Mummification
Name change (for scene)
Nipple clamps
Nipple rings (piercing)
Nipple weights
Oral/anal play (rimming)
Over the knee spanking
Orgasm denial/control
Outdoor scenes
Pain (mild)
Pain (severe)
Persona training (in scene)
Phone sex (serving Dom)
Phone sex (serving Dom’s friends)
Piercing (temporary, play-pierce)
Piercing (permanent)
Prison scenes
Prostitution (public pretense/roleplay)
Prostitution (actual)
Pony slave
Public exposure
Punishment scene
Pussy/cock whipping
Riding crops
Rituals
Religious scenes
Restrictive rules on behaviour
Rubber/latex clothing
Rope body harness
Saran wrap
Scarification
Scratching - getting
Scratching - giving
Sensory deprivation
Serving
Serving as art
Serving as ashtray
Serving as furniture
Serving as a maid
Serving as a toilet
Serving as waitress/waiter
Serving orally (sexual)
Serving other Doms
Sexual deprivation (short term)
Sexual deprivation (long term)
Shaving (body hair)
Shaving (head hair)
Skinny dipping
sleep deprivation
Slutty clothing (private)
Slutty clothing (public)
Spanking (hands)
Spanking (paddles/implements)
Speech restrictions (when/what)
Speculums (anal)
Speculums (vaginal)
Spitting (on others/being spat on)
Spreader bars
Standing in corner
Stocks
Straight jackets
Strapping
Suspension (upright)
Suspension (inverted)
Swallowing feces
Swallowing semen
Swallowing urine
Swapping (with one other couple)
Swinging (multiple couples)
Tattooing
Teasing
Threesomes (extra member of opposite sex)
Threesomes (extra member of same sex)
Tickling
Triple Penetration
Uniforms
Including others
Vaginal dildo
Verbal humiliation
Vibrator on genitals
Violet wand (electrical toy)
Voyeurism (watching others)
Voyeurism (your Dom w/others)
Video (watching others)
Video (recordings of you)
Water torture
Waxing (hair removal)
Weight gain/loss (f*rced)
Whipping (specify where)
Wooden paddles
I should stress a couple of things upfront. 1) This list is broad and to be honest contains many things I for one am not into. I’ve left it this way as others may be (and frankly who am I to judge!?!). I do suggest though filling the whole thing in, you can learn just as much from what someone isn’t into as you can from what they are. 2) Lists, in my opinion, should be an aid for conversation rather than replacing it. I firmly encourage people to discuss their desires and limits with their partners.
Suggestions for template
Do as you like but what I’ve found works is to paste the below list of fetishes into a table in Word, each with their own row. Have 2 columns to the side. In column one try to put some simple one word categories in along the lines of:
Tried – as in yes, done this before and like it
Not tried – but it interests you or you’d be up for trying it
Soft limit – not ruling it out but possibly uncomfortable with it. Would want to discuss further before doing it.
Hard limit – flat no or uncomfortable with this.
Not interested – Essentially this isn’t being ruled out but it’s just not something which really appeals. Similar to a soft limit perhaps in that you may want to talk about it further.
In the 3rd column put in comments or notes. This is either to explain how you’re defining something (e.g. what one person calls a “hard beating” is subjective) but also put any explanation or qualifying criteria in (e.g. “yes I like being flogged, but not on my tits”). You shouldn’t feel you have to justify any interests/limits, though explaining them really can help the other person better understand you and what you’re into. Also, if completing it as a sub, it’s good here to differentiate what are things you don’t enjoy but that makes them a fun/enjoyable ‘punishment’ vs things which you simply don’t enjoy outright.
Abrasion
Age Play
Anal Sex
a****l Roleplay
Arm & leg sleeves (armbinders)
Asphyxiation
Bathroom use control
Beating (soft)
Beating (hard)
Blindfolding
Being Serviced (sexual)
Biting
Breast/chest bondage
Breath control
Branding
Boot Worship
Bondage (light)
Bondage (heavy)
Bondage (multi-day)
Bondage (public under clothing)
Breast whipping
Brown showers (s**t)
Cages (locked inside)
Caning (specify where)
Cattle prod (electrical toy)
Cells/Closets (locked inside of)
Chains
Chastity belts
Chores (domestic service)
Clothespins
Cock worship
Collars (worn in private)
Collars (worn in public)
Competitions (with other subs)
Corsets (wearing casually)
Cuffs (leather)
Cuffs (metal)
Cum (on body)
Cum (on face)
Cutting
Dilation
Dildos
Double Penetration
Electrical toys
Enemas
Enf*rced chastity
Erotic Dance (for audience)
Examinations (physical)
Exercise (f*rced/required)
Exhibitionism (friends)
Exhibitionism (strangers)
Eye contact restrictions
Face Slapping
Fantasy Abandonment
Fantasy ****
Fantasy gang ****
Fear (being scared)
Fisting (anal)
Fisting (vaginal)
Flame play
Flogging (specify where)
Following orders
Foot worship
F*rced dressing
F*rced eating
F*rced homosexuality
F*rced heterosexuality
F*rced masturbation
F*rced nudity (private)
F*rced nudity (around others)
F*rced Servitude
F*rced smoking
Full head hoods
Gags (cloth)
Gags (hard)
Gags (tape)
Gas masks
Genital sex
Given away to another Dom (temp)
Given away to another Dom (perm)
Golden Showers
Hair pulling
Hand Jobs (giving)
Hand Jobs (receiving)
Harems (serving w/other subs)
Harnessing
Having food chosen for you
Having clothing chosen for you
Head (give fellatio/cunnilingus)
Head (rcv fellation/cunnilingus)
High Heel Wearing
High Heel Worship
Hot oils (on genitals)
Hot waxing
Housework (doing)
Human puppy dog
Humiliation (private)
Humiliation (public)
Hypnotism
Ice cubes
Immobilization
Initiation rites
Injections
Intricate (Japanese) rope bondage/Shibari
Interrogations
k**napping
Kneeling
Knife play
Leather Clothing
Leather restraints
Lectures for misbehavior
Licking (non-sexual, e.g. being told to lick a table clean)
Lingerie (wearing)
Manacles and Irons
Manicures (giving)
Massage (giving)
Massage (receiving)
Medical scenes
Modeling for erotic photos
Mouth bits
Mummification
Name change (for scene)
Nipple clamps
Nipple rings (piercing)
Nipple weights
Oral/anal play (rimming)
Over the knee spanking
Orgasm denial/control
Outdoor scenes
Pain (mild)
Pain (severe)
Persona training (in scene)
Phone sex (serving Dom)
Phone sex (serving Dom’s friends)
Piercing (temporary, play-pierce)
Piercing (permanent)
Prison scenes
Prostitution (public pretense/roleplay)
Prostitution (actual)
Pony slave
Public exposure
Punishment scene
Pussy/cock whipping
Riding crops
Rituals
Religious scenes
Restrictive rules on behaviour
Rubber/latex clothing
Rope body harness
Saran wrap
Scarification
Scratching - getting
Scratching - giving
Sensory deprivation
Serving
Serving as art
Serving as ashtray
Serving as furniture
Serving as a maid
Serving as a toilet
Serving as waitress/waiter
Serving orally (sexual)
Serving other Doms
Sexual deprivation (short term)
Sexual deprivation (long term)
Shaving (body hair)
Shaving (head hair)
Skinny dipping
sleep deprivation
Slutty clothing (private)
Slutty clothing (public)
Spanking (hands)
Spanking (paddles/implements)
Speech restrictions (when/what)
Speculums (anal)
Speculums (vaginal)
Spitting (on others/being spat on)
Spreader bars
Standing in corner
Stocks
Straight jackets
Strapping
Suspension (upright)
Suspension (inverted)
Swallowing feces
Swallowing semen
Swallowing urine
Swapping (with one other couple)
Swinging (multiple couples)
Tattooing
Teasing
Threesomes (extra member of opposite sex)
Threesomes (extra member of same sex)
Tickling
Triple Penetration
Uniforms
Including others
Vaginal dildo
Verbal humiliation
Vibrator on genitals
Violet wand (electrical toy)
Voyeurism (watching others)
Voyeurism (your Dom w/others)
Video (watching others)
Video (recordings of you)
Water torture
Waxing (hair removal)
Weight gain/loss (f*rced)
Whipping (specify where)
Wooden paddles
9 years ago
