Is porn dangerous?

If you're reading, good on your for not just being a drone around here.

Here's what I'm coming to realize. And this is specific to the United States, I can't say it applies to other places. But in the US, the things that are said and done to women are not improving. They're still heinous and horribly disrespectful. If you're curious, it isn't hard to find reports and reviews on any search engine.

If you aren't in the mood to search, here's one you can take a look at:
http://aplus.com/a/sexual-abuse-v******e-survivors-fight-back-project-unbreakable

It is pretty appalling that a somebody could say, or do, these things to another person. It is degrading, humiliating, and inhuman. I cannot imagine the lack of empathy, morals, or respect that it would take to put somebody through this kind of experience. And yet, guys do it. The only difference is that now, people are being vocal about the abuse, and thank god that they are.

At any rate, I'm not here to get up on a high horse and denounce the guys that did it. If society has any back bone, then I shouldn't have to. What I'm here to ponder is what is leading to it. Where is the notion that it is okay to do things that reflect severe personality disorders (eg Antisocial Personality Disorder) coming from? Could be a lot of things, but I think the digital age is a lot of it.

Here's why my thinking is. People have always been more aggressive when there is some anonymity involved. Hop on any given youtube video and read the comments. Do you think any of those things would be said to a person's face? Probably not. We are, for whatever reason, inclined to say the most heinous things to a person when it is electronic because we don't have to face any repercussions for the act.

Okay, that's not that big of a deal. If someone goes name calling on youtube, who cares? Well, I'm starting to think about where the bridge is that connects that to actual acts. And I have some ideas. For one, there's cognitive dissonance theory. Leon Festinger proposed the idea (I believe), and it basically says that there is discomfort for a person when they're holding two contradictory ideas in their head, and they will naturally gravitate toward one or the other. So what am I getting at? Well, a perfectly reasonable person who acts normally toward people in public might go through cognitive dissonance when they start to say abusive things to others online. Over time, they might gravitate toward actually adopting that sort of personality.

Where I am starting to think there's a connection is in dating sites. If you go to sites like single white boys texting, you see that guys are willing to say some pretty unbelievable things to real women. These aren't girls that make money by being there. It isn't like being sexual with a cam girl. These are normal women who are just looking for a nice guy to date. But instead, they're constantly asked if they want to fuck. It is sorta gross when you think about it.

And when they're rejected, a lot of the time they lash out. They'll say that you must be some dumb cunt. Here's some solid examples:
http://www.buzzfeed.com/jobarrow/this-women-set-up-an-instagram-to-show-the-shocking-truth-of?bffb

Now, when I think about the kinds of guys that are willing to do the horrible things to women that are outlined in that first link, I start to believe that these guys are coming from the group that says shit like what is in that second link. They're making the jump from the anonymity of being online to actually committing the acts and being just as abusive.

So, I know this is rambling. But honestly, I'm having some pretty strong feelings on this that are sort of spilling out, so you'll have to excuse me for it. At any rate. That brings me back around to porn. Is it dangerous? Are these guys getting the ideas for what they do from porn? Part of me thinks yes. But part of me thinks no. There are millions of people who watch porn. But I can't even come close to imagining that all porn users are willing to commit acts of ****. I, for one, consider myself in the opposite camp. I've stopped three of them that were in progress. But I watch a lot of porn.

So, is it just that porn is the sort of thing you have to enjoy responsibly? Again, I don't think that's it either. I think that porn is not necessarily the culprit. I think it is the lack of respect that we, as a society, have for each other. I think that having online anonymity has given us a bold willingness to say what we want, and it is translating into the offline world. We feel no accountability for the things we say anymore. There's no sense of communal responsibility. We only do what makes us ourselves happy. It is disappointing, to say the least. We don't do right by others anymore. In fact, it has become so exceptional that people act with any sense of benevolence that people are caught off guard by it. I see it all the time when I try to help somebody.

Maybe it is a problem with disconnected parents that don't enforce discipline. Does corporal punishment have a place? I can't say for sure. But I genuinely believe that our basic lack of respect for each other and lack of any sense of responsibility is what is to blame for these horrible actions. And I want people to start to stand up against it. I, for one, am not willing to be quiet about these things. People can say that I am just saying it because I'm online, but I'm happy to say these things out loud, in public, to anyone that will listen. I genuinely believe that anyone with a sense of empathy will side with me.

We, as a society, need to remember that we cannot just do right by ourselves. We need to consider what we are doing to other people and own up to it. Have some accountability. We can't just blame porn because it has the closest contextual link. We have to blame ourselves, and then we have to stand up and say NO MORE.