Dirty Jokes
I just thought I would start a blog so people could post their favorite dirty jokes.
All I ask is that If you decide to post a joke nothing about v******e towards women or k**s. And try to keep the religious stuff to a minimum. Anything that I find too out of bounds will be removed. Other then that I hope to see some good jokes. :)
Here is one of my favorites to start out with.
A nun and a priest are traveling through the desert. They get half way through and their camel dies. They figure we are people of faith we will be rescued in no time. Weeks go by with no rescue. Giving up hope of rescue the priest started to think “I have never seen a woman naked.” He finally gets up the courage and asks the nun if he could see her naked so he would know what a woman looked like before he died. The nun thought about it for a while and decided she could trust him so she agreed, and disrobed. The priest looked at he said "Thank you." and that was the end. But this got the nun thinking. That she had never seen a man naked. So after a while she worked up the courage and asked the priest if she could see him naked before she died so she would know what a man looked like. He decided it was only fair after all she had let him see her naked. He undresses. She is looking at him then says “Father what is that between your legs?” He says “That is Gods special gift, if I stick it in you it will create life.” The nun says “To hell with me, stick it in the camel's ass and let’s get the hell out of there!”
This could be the worst joke I ever heard....
Three men walk in to a bar, fourth one ducks.
All I ask is that If you decide to post a joke nothing about v******e towards women or k**s. And try to keep the religious stuff to a minimum. Anything that I find too out of bounds will be removed. Other then that I hope to see some good jokes. :)
Here is one of my favorites to start out with.
A nun and a priest are traveling through the desert. They get half way through and their camel dies. They figure we are people of faith we will be rescued in no time. Weeks go by with no rescue. Giving up hope of rescue the priest started to think “I have never seen a woman naked.” He finally gets up the courage and asks the nun if he could see her naked so he would know what a woman looked like before he died. The nun thought about it for a while and decided she could trust him so she agreed, and disrobed. The priest looked at he said "Thank you." and that was the end. But this got the nun thinking. That she had never seen a man naked. So after a while she worked up the courage and asked the priest if she could see him naked before she died so she would know what a man looked like. He decided it was only fair after all she had let him see her naked. He undresses. She is looking at him then says “Father what is that between your legs?” He says “That is Gods special gift, if I stick it in you it will create life.” The nun says “To hell with me, stick it in the camel's ass and let’s get the hell out of there!”
This could be the worst joke I ever heard....
Three men walk in to a bar, fourth one ducks.
10 years ago
im Scottish on my Mams side, Italian on my Das best pals side
the first woman says to him
"have you ever had a Hanjob?"
"no I havent" says the man
"well your getting one now" says the woman
after shes fineshed the second woman comes up and asks
"Have you ever had your cock sucked?"
"No I havent" says the man
"well your getting it sucked now" says the woman
after shes finshed the mans lying there with a big smile on his face thinking this is the best day of my life he cant believe his ears when the third woman asks in the sexiest voice hes ever heard
"have you ever been fucked? hunny"
"no I havent" says the man with a wink and glint in his eye
"well you are now Pal the tides comin in"
when the man asks his wife "what was the name off that chinese place we ate at last week?"
the wife say "I cant remember Dear"
the man says "it was some type of flower"
to which the Kids reply
Lilly, lotus, Ivy, Rose
"aha thats it" says the man
"Rose what was the name of that Chinese Resurent we ate at last night?"
the Rabbi Shouts out "everyman for themselfs"
the Minister asked "what about the Kids?"
to which the reply came from the Rabbi "fuck em"
the priest replys "have we got the time?"
reunion , and she kept staring at a d***ken man swigging his
drink as he sat alone at a nearby table.
I asked her, "Do you know him ?"
"Yes", she sighed,
"He's my old boyfriend . I understand he took to drinking
right after we split up those many years ago, and I hear he
hasn't been sober since."
"My God !" I said, "Who would think a person could go on
celebrating that long?"
And then the fight started
"where are you going" I asked
"to lend you 20 euros" she replied