Mistreatment of the wonderful women of Xhamster

It has recently come to my attention that all too many of the great woman on Xhamster are subject to some really inappropriate comments and messaging. First of all, there are considerably less women on Xhamster and the ones that are on here do not need comments or messages in the form of 'I want to fuck your tight ass until you moan and beg for mercy', 'going to dump a hot load into your slut mouth', etc. Not only is it rude and simply bad form but it makes genuine gentlemen on here (and there are some of us) look terrible and it drives women away.

The women that I have had the chance to encounter and the friends I have made are wonderful additions to this site and it would be diminished by their absence. They do not deserve to have perverted comments directed at them without any provocation or request. Trust me, I know this is a porn site and I enjoy its contents as much as anyone, including videos posted by its female members. Because these women choose to post videos of themselves is not an invitation to tell them how you would use them as a breathing sex toy. Personally I admire people who post videos of themselves on here and the last thing they need is to be made to feel uncomfortable doing so. Even worse is when a woman states in her profile or blogs about appropriate behavior and has no content of herself of a sexual nature and she still receives comments just because she is female. NOTE TO MEN: WOMEN DO NOT EXIST TO BE OUR SEXUAL PLAYTHINGS, THEY ARE PEOPLE, TREAT THEM AS SUCH!!

A number of women here are highly intelligent and enjoy conversations about a variety of topics, both sexual and not. If they are constantly inundated with 'going to fill up your cunt with jizz' than it makes conversations and sharing ideas and opinions more difficult for those of us with an IQ above room temperature. Believe it or not, some of us actually care about what women think and enjoy. That is not to say that if a female member wants to talk about sex or be dirty she can, but that's her decision, respect it. Maybe, just maybe, try being polite and you may have a conversation that will surprise you. I think its ok to tell a female member how attractive she is or how much you enjoy her content, but don't be a creep about it.

Now this comes with a caveat, I'm not saying to pretend to be nice just to get to a place to be dirty or try to get laid. If you don't have anything nice to say or at least can be polite than don't say anything at all. Once again, there are some truly amazing women on here that have excellent opinions, insight, ideas, and some are downright funny, demeaning comments are not required in their profiles. Women are a minority here, their presence is a gift, don't spoil it by being an ass. As always, thanks for reading.

Published by nightskies

10 years ago

Comments

Please or to post comments

nightskies Publisher 8 years ago

There are people far more qualified than I that have authored papers on the subject. It shouldn't be too hard to find, you may want to check HeForShe. It's a UN sponsored gender equality group, they will have plenty of educational resources to peruse.

You're most welcome, whatever my opinion may be worth.

nightskies Publisher 8 years ago

That is a complex question, and one with several possible answers. Several of which you allude to, could be any combination of those things, or all of them, or just one. Whatever the reason it is all too frequent and painfully obvious to those of us that fight for gender equality. Then end result is a negative for this site (among many others) for several reasons, it damages women and (in this case) their personal sexual journey, it makes them leave the site, it makes them hate pornography. Goes on and on, and it's something that needs to change.

Thank you for reading this and taking the time to respond, as well as for your support. The good news is that this is by far my most read article, and most favorited, so the word is out there in a small fraction at least. I hope more people read it, of course, but I really hope many others will come up with similar sentiments on their own. That would be real progress.

beardedlion 9 years ago

to nightskies : Most assuredly right good Sir. I have a precious few female friends here that I cherish.

Reply Original comment

nightskies Publisher 9 years ago

to beardedlion : Thank you for your support, it's still a major problem on this site and I don't think that will end any time soon. The only thing we can do is do our best to raise awareness and support our female friends.

Reply Original comment

beardedlion 9 years ago

Very good. I concur unreservedly!
Cheers!
Mark

nightskies Publisher 9 years ago

I tire of it too, unfortunately it is still happening all too frequently. Women are treated horribly on here, some of the best friends I've made on this site are women and I have heard about it happening quite a bit, especially lately. You've made a very good point here, there is a massive difference between complimenting a woman's content and acting like some creepy stalker or some such. I have had some long friendships (not as long as yours however) and have been privy to content too, and I'm honored that they would share something beautiful and intimate with me. Women are usually highly perceptive and can tell when you generally care and are interested and when you're feigning interest to get a glimpse of sex. Men like this, and it's the majority, believe me, are very much ruining it for all of us. Creating a hostile environment that women can't feel comfortable in, it's completely wrong and not conducive to what should be a community of like-minded people. Thank you for taking the time to commenting on my post.

nightskies Publisher 9 years ago

to omegadrejr : No, thank you. Thank you for taking the time and reading my argument for the fair and decent treatment of our female members.

Reply Original comment

omegadrejr 9 years ago

Thank you. We need more writers of literature here

nightskies Publisher 10 years ago

to lxf4l : Why thank you, what a nice thing to say. I always do my best to be as polite and pleasant as possible. I know what you mean though, I'm thinking of culling the friends list after the New Year.

Reply Original comment

Well said and just another reason why I narrowed my friends list down. People that are on it it like "Nightyskies & leaflee" are nice, understanding and just fun to chat with. We need more of them.

nightskies Publisher 10 years ago

What a wonderfully nice thing to say, thank you so much. I try to differentiate myself as much as possible from the 'norm' on this site, mainly because of the reasons above. A woman should be able to enjoy herself and interact on here as much as possible without the fear of being degraded. You are more than welcome, and thank you again for reading.

nightskies Publisher 10 years ago

to DanielPortenio : Thank you for reading my post and supporting it, it was something that had to be said. Although it's a bit sad that it had to be written in the first place.

Reply Original comment

DanielPortenio 10 years ago

You are right, Richard, of course. Fave'd.

nightskies Publisher 10 years ago

to talonequ : Just saw your comment on my post, glad that you had the time to read it. Thank you for your support, there are all to many women on here that are treated terribly by misogynistic fools. You very well may be right that there is an even larger responsibility to treat women here well because its a porn site. Although, treating women (and everyone else) with politeness and respect is a good way to conduct oneself generally.

Reply Original comment

nightskies Publisher 10 years ago

to biorgium : That is a very cogent point that you make here, they seem to be conflicted about women in general. I think this sums up the situation perfectly. While they feel a physical attraction to the performer perhaps they also get a certain thrill out of seeing her in a 'submissive' state. Many men are psychologically conditioned to believe that whomever is getting penetrated is the submissive partner and that keeps women 'in their place' which is idiotic in the extreme. First of all, I would hardly call a woman having sex submissive when one thinks about it. They are beautiful, we work to please them, and because of a gift of nature they are blessed with multiple orgasms, that does not sound submissive to me. Of course men of this mindset are hardly concerned with the woman's pleasure, they are only concerned with their own. Mindsets like these lead men to criticize and degrade women because they require the assurance to their ego, notice how many strong and independent women are routinely degraded? It is a juvenile mindset that all too many quality members here have to suffer, as well as the performers we all appreciate.

Did they post signs about 'No gurls allowed' on the club or tree houses? Probably, they had no idea of with worth of women and have no idea now. These are the same men that when having sex are only concerned with the paltry squirt at the end versus the experience of pleasure together.

Reply Original comment

biorgium 10 years ago

There's a certain sector of male porn fans that seems to be conflicted about women in general, as evidenced by their highly disrespectful comments about female performers. It's very strange that some guys love to put down the very women they masturbate to. So I wonder if these "men" are often the same ones who harass women on this site. As children, were these the same guys who posted "No Gurls Allowed" signs on their tree houses?

I agree with you my friend T! And you are an awesome gentleman!

talonequ 10 years ago

to Leaflee : And I'm glad you returned as well. I'd like to think that I'm one of those friends that you found upon your return and I echo your and nightskies's sentiments about the proper way to treat a woman - even (maybe especially) on a porn site.

Reply Original comment

nightskies Publisher 10 years ago

That's very true, the way society treats women is still not where it should be. I think people have a hard time drawing a line between sexuality and objectification, which becomes a very grey area in porn. What too many men confuse is porn and real life, many don't understand that those performers are being paid to do what they're doing, it's their chosen profession. 'If it works in porn it must work in real life' and then you get the degrading messages to female members. The hyper-sexual world of pornography alters weak-minded men's perception of reality, perhaps more female members should begin their profile with: "No I don't want to suck your cock, nor fuck you, or anything else". Of course I've seen profiles with missives like that and it doesn't matter. Happy to hear that you're not deleting your account, more genuine thought provoking members are always needed.

nightskies Publisher 10 years ago

to Leaflee : You're welcome Leaflee, thank you for reading. I'm sorry that you had to retire from here at one time but good for you choosing to fight bullies. Those who are disrespectful are not worth your time, it gives you more time for good conversation with those friends.

Reply Original comment

nightskies Publisher 10 years ago

All to happy that it had that effect on your outlook, even a small amount. I cannot fathom why men think, just because its a porn site, they have the right to speak to women as if they're here simply for our pleasure. Simply ridiculous. Much as I've said before many women on here are a great addition to this site, why people would want to treat them as second class citizens is beyond me. I surely hope you don't delete your account, there are some of us that are halfway decent, unfortunately too few I'm afraid.

nightskies Publisher 10 years ago

to laurrren : You are more than welcome, and yes, unfortunately there are.

Reply Original comment

Bravo to you, nightskies! The rudeness caused me to retire from here briefly a few years ago. Then, I decided why am I disappearing? The disrespectful people shouldn't get to bully me around! I don't take bullying in real life, why take it here? Glad I returned and found true friends! Thanks for sharing!

laurrren 10 years ago

to nightskies : yes... well thank you for taking the time to write it. i do agree, lots of ignorant people here

Reply Original comment

nightskies Publisher 10 years ago

to laurrren : Thank you for reading and happy that you enjoyed it. As I've said before, it's something that really needed to be said. Too many great women here on Xhamster to be treated with so much disrespect.

Reply Original comment

laurrren 10 years ago

great post

nightskies Publisher 10 years ago

to DoctorTongue : Thank you for your kind words, good sir. You are all too right that it is sad that I had to do this, what's even more sad is that some of these fantastic women can create entire galleries and blog entries about rude comments. I too find is a bit discouraging that the few of us (and I'm convinced its few) that are articulate and mature enough to hold a conversation are regarded as of the same ilk as the idiot perverts. Of course there is no accounting for someone that finds it the height of amusement to post about what they are going to do to a particular woman, or even worse, who seriously thinks they have a chance.
I hope that women can find good conversations with those like us rewarding, just because its a break from the perverted monotony. Thanks again for your support.

Reply Original comment

DoctorTongue 10 years ago

My sentiments exactly, Richard. Quite frankly, it saddens me that you even have to post a blog like this. And yet, so many men on this site wonder why there seems to be a lack of women willing to talk to them. The saddest part is that those of us who can construct a sentence and maintain an intelligent conversation are being lumped in with the apelike majority! I find that depressing and more than a little frustrating, but I guess that's just the way things are, you know? I'd like to think that those special ladies who take a chance on guys like us find the experience ultimately rewarding. Either way, it won't change my attitude. Blogs like yours give me hope, ha ha!!!

jonboi18 10 years ago

to nightskies : Thanks man I spoke from the heart and thats all you can do if everyone was more Polite and respectfull of all the people on this site it would be a much happier and nicer place for all its users.

Reply Original comment

nightskies Publisher 10 years ago

to jonboi18 : Thank you for the support. Women do make this site much better and simply don't deserved to be objectified blindly because one finds it so hot that a woman can be interested in porn that one cannot control the way they interact with said woman. Sad, truly sad. Your comment was very well said, thanks.

Reply Original comment