Things NOT to say during or after sex.
1. Did I not mention the video camera?
2. Can you please pass me the TV remote control?
3. On second thought, let's turn off the lights.
4. Hope you're as good looking when I'm sober...
5. Got any penicillin?
6. I thought you had the keys to the handcuffs!
7. When is this supposed to feel good?
8. It's nice being in bed with a woman I don't have to inflate!
9. This would be more fun with a few more people..
10. Perhaps you're just out of practice
11. You look younger than you feel
12. And to think, I didn't even have to buy you dinner!
13. You'll still vote for me, won't you?
14. When would you like to meet my parents?
15. Don't mind me.. I always file my nails in bed
16. No, really... I do this part better myself!
17. Keep it down, my mother is a light sleeper...
18. Have you ever thought of embracing Jesus as your personal lord and saviour?
19. Wake me up when you've finished ok
20. You think my boobs are big now, wait till I'm 16.
11 years ago
"Welcome to the Fritzl family!"
"6.0 5.9 5.8 5.9 ..."
"Sorry, but the vacancy has been filled..."
" Nice penis, just like the one I used to have"
"for fuck's sake! I forgot to go to the STD clinic today"
"Your turn now, Dad"
"Please save all the cum, I want to try a new recipe"
"Pleased to meet you, my name is Peter Sutcliffe"
"Has it always looked like that?"
"Of course I like seeing your face when we fuck...I just like watching the rolls of fat in your back jiggle when I fuck you from behind."
-
I was in bed, over her, and said "qué linda gordita!", which means "what a nice fatty girl".
She got clothed and went away.
22. (Him to her) Is it in?
23. My goodness! I can FEEL it again!
24. That HURTS!
25. WE'RE pregnant!
26. OH, I forgot to tell you, I'm fertile today.
27. Well, that's too bad, cause I been fixed.
28. What'd you say your name was?
29. When do you want to get married, now?
30. Is that IT?!
"You're not as tight as your sister"
Cheers
Scuzzer.