Common errors women/men in love make

In the interest of saving bad feelings and broken hearts i write this blog


1) You make your partner the center of your world

this is a no no. If you devote all of your energy and focus to the other person then two things are going to happen. You will neglect yourself by not improving upon yourself and keeping your life in line and you will eventually make that person feel smothered and they will try to put some distance between you to get air to breathe. Your partner should feel loved and cared for and get some of your attention and focus but not everything.


2) You try to "fix" things about your partner you don't like or agree with

This is so common,especially with women. Its ingrained in us,given we have a motherly instinct that sometimes it turns against us. Every person born is a an individual whose sole purpose is to be healthy,happy,and find the correct balance in life for themselves. Every person ideas about what is bliss and comfort is different,and therefore should not be put down for their own sense of style or expression. Relations and relationships are about understanding and compromise NOT conforming to someone else s ideas of whats right. If a persons habits or appearance annoys you then perhaps they aren't for you. ..thinking "well,you would be a good boyfriend/girlfriend if you just changed this" is selfish as hell...what if they tried pulling that on you? Even if that person is involved in something like taking substances or drinking too much you ultimately are not gonna be the one to change them. The change only happens when THEY decide to act.


3) Acting like a parent and taking a persons personal likes/interests away just because you don't like them


This is wrong. If the person likes something you don't like like a TV show or sports or a game and you don't like it then don't be a part of it. Its what makes them happy and every person has the absolute right and freedom to find things in life to enjoy. You and your mate don't have to like all of the same things. Give them their space to breathe.


4) Succumbing to jealousy/insecurity


Real love means you are secure and relaxed. Real love means trust. You don't blow up your mans phone every time he goes out,asking him where he is..and all those 100000 questions and acting like a private eye will just create distance. Jealousy is fear. You are scared about losing that persons love and attention..why? You are obviously insecure. Get a grip on it,besides..trying to act like a jail warden and having your nose in your partners business all the time means you aren't focusing on yourself and taking care of YOUR business...and truth be told not only is that kind of behavior unsexy but will tire you out. It drains the energy. I am here to tell you...if your girl/man is a cheat then you don't need to spy. Karma IS your eye in the sky. It sees everything all the time and it WILL flush that person out in the open without you having to do anything. If your mate is a cheat,trust me..the world is full of people..and they do come along



5) putting up with abusive sorry ass partners

LEARN TO WALK AWAY FROM THESE!!!!!!!


They are poisonous. If you feel more sadness then happiness with someone,if its constant fighting,yelling,if its abusive...LEAVE! Seriously..WTF are you trying to prove hanging on. Don't give me that "but i love them" crap..obviously they don't love you or the agony you feel wouldn't be there. If the person is alcoholic/into chemicals...LEAVE...cause that chemical is their new master and you will suffer as long as it rules their thoughts.


6) Trying to compete with a persons ex


The past is the past. You are the new person. You have no history with your partner and sometimes its scary knowing someone else does and that history means emotional pull. If your partner makes a big deal about the ex and talks on and on about her/him leave..they aren't ready to all in love yet because part of them is still tied to that other person and they haven't let go yet. If your partner talks about badly about an ex just remember there are three sides to a story..his,hers and the point in the middle...and the person you are talking to will always talk themselves as the less harmful one. No one ever says "yeah,its my fault..i lied.i cheated..blah blah" even if they are guilty...truth is a big pill most wont swallow. Don't copy an ex or anyone to get his favor..don't talk down about the ex,you don't know them..its not your business. Just stay out and focus on getting to know your partner.


7) Being obsessed with getting a relationship "title"


Women...we are REALLY bad with this one. We gets nuts about a guy calling us his " girlfriend" or "fiance" We want that verbal reassurance that hes not just using us for sex or we are worthless..we assume a title means worth. Guess what? Unless a guy/girl uses the title on their own without being pressured or provoked it means nothing. You force someone to title you,it means squat. I have held every female title...girlfriend...wife..fiance...and im still the same person. Titles don't change you. You are who you are and the relationship is what is is regardless of your 'title" so relax and just focus on the love,not any freaking title...when that person is ready they will give you one and then you will know they mean it.


8) Learn to pick your battles and learn how to fight smart

Fights cause distance so learn to pick your battles carefully...ask yourself,whatever it is..is it worth screaming over? Is it just some small thing that you are about to blow up over? Can you sit down and talk about it first and straighten it out and not resort to arguing? Conversation causes less bad feelings then a screaming match


9) DO NOT insult your partner

If they piss you off and you call them 'stupid" WTF does that make YOU since you are with them?? Putting down your partner is hurtful..and causes distance...




that's all for now...im out