Alexandra's Story

Alexandra was an xHamster member who used the profile name honeypuss. I met her quite by accident: I believe we both commented on someone's story. I discovered that she was also a writer of erotic stories, as am I, and I sent her a PM. We quickly bonded, and we corresponded several times every day after that.

Besides the excellent stories she wrote (most of them were true life stories of her own experiences) I learned that she had been born with many serious physical ailments, including heart problems and other internal problems, plus she was crippled from the waist down and was wheelchair bound. In addition, her mother was killed in a car accident when Alexandra was only 6 months old, leaving her father to care for her. Over the years, she endured countless operations, as her body grew. She was in constant pain.

Despite all that, she was very stubborn and headstrong, and she refused to sit by and do nothing. She managed to get a college degree, and she landed a good job as a logistics specialist, which she loved. She also had a special car that she could drive using hand controls, so she got around just fine. When her father and doctors suggested she go on disability, she dismissed the idea, saying disability was for people who couldn't work. She backed up her words by getting a good job that she excelled at.

When she was born, the doctors gave her only months to live, but she kept defying the odds, and willed herself to keep living. When I met her here on xHamster, she was 34 years old and thriving. I was fascinated with her life story, and I supplemented my knowledge that she willingly shared of her life by reading her erotic stories. She was quite in tune with her sexuality, and wasn't afraid to share her experiences, both the good and the bad.

I got to know her quite well in very little time: only five days total. On the fifth day, she wrote and told me that she didn't wake up as usual that morning, and her father couldn't revive her either. He rushed her to the hospital where they brought her around, and did a bunch of tests on her. She needed heart surgery for the fifth time in her life. She kept me informed that evening from her hospital bed. She figured she would end up spending a couple weeks in intensive care, then another week in a regular hospital bed, then she would go home and her father would care for her. (He became a practical nurse after her mother died so he could take care of her). Her last PM to me that night before surgery read: "If I told you I wasn't scared, I'd be lying".

Several days later, me and many of her xHamster friends were busy sending her get well wishes, knowing that she couldn't go online in intensive care. That was when her father came onto her page and informed us all that she died on the operating table during surgery.

He figured that she knew she wasn't going to make it, and she stayed awake all night, putting together her last wishes for her father to take care of. Among her directives was to go on xHamster and close her account. When he did so, he saw all these messages from friends she had made, and he felt he couldn't just close her account without telling everyone what had happened.

It was a very profound and moving experience for me. I felt like I knew her all my life, such was the intensity and closeness of our relationship. I couldn't believe it was only 5 days. I began to correspond with her father every day after her death, for a few months, just trying to be there for him in his grief and loss. She was his only ch1ld, and he cared for her constantly for 34 years. I got to know him fairly well, and he is a remarkable man. He worked in a ch1ldren's hospital, and he is very caring and dedicated. I am happy to say that he has worked through much of his grief, and has been able to move on some with his (new) life. He retired from his hospital job, sold their house and bought an RV to go traveling around the country with his long time friend Susan, who is now also his fiance.

He told me that just months before she died, Alexandra ordered a special bicycle that she could operate with just her hands. It was like an over sized tricycle, but with hand controls, like her car. When it was delivered, he put it together for her, and watched her ride off with some of the neighborhood ch1ldren, riding a bike for the first time in her life, a big grin on her face.

Her favorite way to end a PM was to say: "Love and Light". She was all of that and more. I will always remember the short but precious time we had together. She is a true inspiration, as is Roger, her father.

Alexandra was a very special person, and I am happy to have had the honor to know her and to be her friend.