Selfishness and entitlement in the form of a love

Me and my partner have been together for a couple of months when I call him out I'm being selfish and intitled he gets upset he says that it's rude for me to call him that and that it upsets him. However we have sex when he wants to have sex we fuck when he wants to fuck, my partner also has difficulty sometimes getting hard however I don't like them any less for this. I tell my partner all the time that I don't need to have sex all the time to be happy that I'd be fine just cuddling or spending time together however his expression and his body language changes when I say this. If I don't want to suck his dick he gets upset he gets frustrated if I don't want to have sex with him in the moment he gets upset and frustrated if I'm not enjoying it or feeling as much pleasure as he is he threatens that we won't have sex until I actually want to have sex with him. There are times where I want to sell pleasure myself because of my past relationships and he doesn't allow me the time that I want to spend by myself without me having to give him a blow job or use my hands because he doesn't want to partake in his own self pleasure. Am I wrong for wanting to have a voice or be listened to without feeling judged or attacked or is he right and am I just not caring about him and his feelings and wants?