Dirty Limericks part 2
1. There once was a man named O'Doul
Who saw red spots on his tool
The doctor, a cynic,
Said "Get out of my clinic,
And wipe off that lipstick you fool!"
2. There once was a man named McSweeny
Who spilled some gin on his weenie.
Just to be couth,
He added Vermouth
And slipped his wife a martini.
3. There was an old whore pulling tricks
Who at one time could handle 5 pricks
One day she did cry
As she pulled out her glass eye
"Tell the boys I can now take six!"
4. There once was a barmaid from Vale
Tattooed on her chest was the price of Ale
And on her behind
For the sake of the blind
Was the same information in Braille.
5. There once was a girl from Kew
Who filled her vagina with glue
She said with a grin,
"If they pay to get in,
they'll pay to get out of it too!"
6. A steward who worked on a clipper
Was quite a bit of a nipper;
He plugged up his ass
With fragments of glass
And circumcised the Skipper.
Who saw red spots on his tool
The doctor, a cynic,
Said "Get out of my clinic,
And wipe off that lipstick you fool!"
2. There once was a man named McSweeny
Who spilled some gin on his weenie.
Just to be couth,
He added Vermouth
And slipped his wife a martini.
3. There was an old whore pulling tricks
Who at one time could handle 5 pricks
One day she did cry
As she pulled out her glass eye
"Tell the boys I can now take six!"
4. There once was a barmaid from Vale
Tattooed on her chest was the price of Ale
And on her behind
For the sake of the blind
Was the same information in Braille.
5. There once was a girl from Kew
Who filled her vagina with glue
She said with a grin,
"If they pay to get in,
they'll pay to get out of it too!"
6. A steward who worked on a clipper
Was quite a bit of a nipper;
He plugged up his ass
With fragments of glass
And circumcised the Skipper.
4 years ago
stuck at home with his hard dick
wife out working her rubber stamper
All he does is wack-off to Xhamster
Took a girlfriend to play on the grass
They fondled their tits
Then both did the splits
As they fisted their cunts and their arse.
Went out with a boy called Chuck Berry
On their first date they kissed
But on more he insist-
-ed, and ended up taking her cherry.
Who bought himself a new Austin.
There was room for his ass,
And a gallon of gas,
But the rest hung out and he lost them.
The village idiot sat.
Amusing himself,
By abusing himself,
And catching it in his hat.