sexstories.com

Introduction:

Well, i hope you don

Have a good laugh, maybe a little excitation. This is all in good fun, if you can't read it, write that comment. If you think i suck, thank you i do, then write it and comment. If you thought it was hilarious, i hope you understand humor, then write and comment. Other than that, may the force be with you..

ONTO TEH STORI OF TEH HORE!

Back ground info: I hate myself for writing this but i'm really pissed off so i made up the dumbest cracker shit to get it out of my head. have fun reading and i hope you understand humor because it uses alot and it was meant all in good fun. If you hate me, you deserve it.
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As always, a good story must have humor. This story contains random humor and may or may not be to your approval. I find this to be a mainly humorous story that has nothing to do with good sex or porn, just straight up comedy fun. Enjoy!

She was a cheerleader at our local High School. being dressed up in her skimpy outfit and seeing her flex her body always turned me on. Sadly though, she was a part of the "cool" people and I wasn't going to be able to get anywhere near her. Unless...

I had hitched a plan that, after close observation, focused around Chelsea's (that being her name *no shit right?*) daily routine. After her workout with her squad, she took a shower in the locker room and then put on her regular school outfit. I had fantasized about that before...from the way her legs took up the skirt and the way her breasts thrust out of her skin, i thought they were surely glued on by some cement. Such beautiful pieces of bodily form! It was orgasmic you know? Just fun to look at, and even better to play with by all means and i did just that. Onward now without my rambling of how great Ireland is, just a great place. Leprechans are real. Get use to it.

When she exited, i put on my Paper Bag (with small holes in it so i could see) and raced after her as she turned around and screamed and fled and i said "I'm fucking superman" but she wasn't paying attention because she was running so much and perhaps having an orgasm while being excited by my paper bag manliness.

Anyways, I tackled her in my arms and dragged her to my truck ( a red pickup, with small purple and yellow lilacs painted on the side) and seatbelted her in a way to prevent her from escaping (oh snap!).

I immediately headed to the outskirts of town, listening to her moans of terror and screams of rage. I liked this, it felt good, my paper bag was getting sweaty so i took it off and she saw me. "Oh Snape" I said "Dumbledore was killed!" She just looked at me and passed out from something or other. I spanked that ass of hers, wanting to hurt her so badly, THen i took off my paper bag and like a naughty person used it as a violating toy upon her ass checks to spank with...such delicious redness floating on her skin. Then i sicked my paper bag mutt/dog/hyena on her vagina, thrusting it in and out with force that would make the speed of light look like a peaceful river. if you get the metaphor of course. all for fun. Did i tell you about the leprechans? they are real you know, and they have some great sex things, oh yea you just thrust into the midgets and you think your life will explode, which it probably will because oh baby it is awesome. Back to teh storyline!

I then proceeded to outskirts of town, by a flowing lake and a wonderful beautiful fantastic forest. Dragging her senseless body into the shadows, i proceeded to grope her ass and lightly spank harder and harder on it, feeling the firmness underneath the material. I then put her down and tore off her shirt, where she managed to wake up and began kicking and screaming. I slapped her to shut her up and continued that until she stopped making noises, where she watched with tears coming down her eyes as i groped her small breasts, nicely firmed. Feelign around was great, my manhood bursting to the rims of my jeans and shirt, oh dam i said shirt, i meant underwear, damn damn damn. Onward. i thrust and thrust but realized i hadn't taken off my pants yet so i sucked them off and thrust with my fingers but then realized my fingers wasn't what i wanted and then i thrusted even more with my head inside, she could really stretch! then i did it over and over, thrusting in. Fingers, penis, head. Repeat, Rinse. Repeat. Douche. Repeat. rinse.

then i fucked and made it goood then dumbledore tried to come back and i was like this isn't right and made it all the more orgasmic and goo goo gah gah stuff... God use to be real but when i fucked her i became GOD itself, all my powers made me Power Ranger Green Ranger (because pink is for pansies and red is for dykes while white is for rabbies and blue is for dicks and yellow is for all you threesome lovers, come on realy, go find a girl and get it on, stop fucking a stool amount) then it was just wrong and suddenly i felt good i had let all that stuff out. Then i fucked again and the morning came and went when i suddenly cummed into her navel (belly button for you idiots) and was like "OH SHIT" and she's like "I'm gonna get a fucken baby now you douche" and i'm like "you naughty son of a bitch horse you know you can only get pregnant through actual intercourse" and she's like "OH SNAP DUMBLEDORE died" and i'm like "O_o" and "fuck you".....so i fucked her reallly hard all night until i became Godzilla and tore her insides out with my rampage of delicicies. Then i fucked. Fuck, fuck, fuck is a great word, except "your momma" really needs to be snapped back into the future.

JENNIFER ANNISTON IS HAWT XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXO now let's make the babies and make China even more crowded than ever huh?
goo times goo times. baby talk yo!

Then i had sex with her. Good sex.

She returned the next day. Good sex/

Next day. Good Sex.

Other day: Horrible sex, she was on that (.) period thing and she kept bleeding. That douche.

Other days after that......nice cold hard sex. With a great penis yo.

The End.

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