sexstories.com

Introduction:

sorry about the other one I screwed up on the last one

Man: Haven’t I seen you someplace before?
Woman: Yes, that’s why I don’t go there anymore.

Man: Is this seat empty?
Woman: Yes, and this one will be if you sit down.

Man: Your place or mine?
Woman: Both. You go to yours, and I’ll go to mine.

Man: So, what do you do for a living?
Woman: I’m a female impersonator.

Man: If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put you between F and CK
Woman: If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put you before GLY

Man: Hey baby, what’s your sign?
Woman: Do not enter.

Man: Do you know what'd look good on you? Me.
Woman: Do you know what'd look good on you? Nothing !

Man: How do you like your eggs in the morning?
Woman: Unfertilized

Man: Your body is like a temple.
Woman: Sorry, there are no services today.

Man: Your face must turn a few heads!
Woman: And your face must turn a few stomachs!

Man: What are you looken at?
Woman: Somethin ugly!

Man: "Voulez-vous vous coucher avec moi ce soir?" (Would you like to go to bed with me tonight?)
Woman: "Je voudrais bien, mais je n'ai rien a porter." (I would love to, but I have nothing to wear.)

Man: I'm a photographer. I’ve been looking for a face like yours
Woman: I'm a plastic surgeon. I’ve been looking for a face like yours

Man: What would you say if I asked you to marry me?
Woman: Nothing. I can't talk and laugh at the same time!

Man: I can make your bed rock
Woman: No you can't I have a Tempurpedic

Man: I've lost my phone number can I have yours?
Woman: Sure, my number is 911-8473 (works better if you write it down)

Man: Do you think it was fate which brought us together?
Woman: Nah, it was plain bad luck!

Man: Baby, your body is a wonderland!
Woman: That's funny, because yours is a wasteland!

Man: Hi! Didn't we go on a date once? Or was it twice?
Woman: Maybe once. I never make the same mistake twice!

Man: I'd go to the ends of the world for you!
Woman: Okay, but would you stay there?

Man: "Wow, you're tall! How's the weather up there?"
Woman: "It's raining." and spit on him.

Man: If I could see you naked, I’d die happy.
Woman: If I saw you naked, I’d probably die laughing.

Man: "Hey, baby, if you come home with me, I can show you a really good time."
Woman: "You know what your problem is? Your mouth is writing checks that your body can't cash."

Man: "I'd really like to get into your pants."
Woman: "No thanks. There's already one asshole in there."

Man: xxAny Generic Pick Up Linexx
Woman: "I like your approach, now let's see your departure."

(If a girl insults you)
Hey, I may not be the prettiest guy in here, but Im the only one talking to you.

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