Please comment and rate and tell me if I should write more, what to focus on, what to improve, what to not include etc... Thank you.
Jeniffer woke up in her room by a doctor. It was time for her quick physical. She was about 5"8 with her blonde hair straight. She was wearing a white hospital gown and her breasts coming out of them a little. "Alright take off your gown." the doctor said and Jennifer immediately obeyed. She handed the doctor the gown who put it on the table. She had nothing on. She had firm B-cup breasts, a slim body, and hairless vagina. The doctor did several of his medical procedures with the girl following his every command. He weighted her, he measured her all over, he listened to her heart, he listened to her breathing, he flicked and he even examined her vagina.
"Alright I'm done with you girl. Now let the nurses take care of the rest." 2 nurses come in, one male one female. They are in their 40s. "Come with us little girl." The 18 year old followed them almost like a soldier. They get to the bathroom. The woman nurse comes up to the tub and turns on the water. The male nurse takes his hands under Jennifer's armpits and lifts her into the tub. Both nurses give Jennifer a complete bath. The female from her hair down and the male from her legs up. The female washes Jennifer's hair, her face, her upper body, her shoulders, her back and her breasts. The male washes her toes, her feet, her legs, her vagina, and her lower body.
"You are such a cute little girl" the female nurse compliments and both nurses laugh. Its not uncommon in the Asylum of Cot to treat women like babies, especially if they're under 25. The 18 year old knew how to follow orders. She remembers when she tried to rebel at 15 what happened. She knows why she's here and has to follow all orders in order to get her healing. All people in the Asylum do.
Jannifer got there at 12 years when her body was changing it was very embarrassing but nothing she can do as people there always have their hands all over her body. And they will continue to do so for a long, long time. At 12 she was easy to lift, to control, and to discipline. The nurses always flickered her nipples and complimented on their growth. Later she went to bed and cried. Having a man stick his fingers into her pussy is not uncommon, it happens all the time.
At 13 Jennifer was bathed with a 10 year old boy. He was always asking the nurse about the female body. Once the nurse just lifted Jennifer on the tub borders. Lifting a thirteen year old was really easy. He wet his fingers with a soap. Her roughly spread her legs and sticked his fingers in her pussy. Jennifer never expected that and turned bright red. So now there was a 13 year old girl in a tub's sides completely naked in a front of a 10 year old boy with a man's fingers in her pussy. He then quickly withdrew them and thrusted his fingers back up there again. This continued for a few minutes until Jennifers was moaning and shaking back and forth. The boy was watching in awe. The nurse pulled out his finger and Jennifer cummed. She was screaming AH AH AH as she did. "See Mark, this is what happens to girls when you stick your hand into their vaginas. They reach orgasm and feel full of pleasure." the nurse said as he was tapping on the little girl's shoulder. "Also notice how hard her young, developing nipples have become as I did that" he said while flicking on Jennifers hard nipples.
When Jennifer was 16 she heard sometimes 2 or more people are bathed for convenience on occasions.. She was afraid this would happen to her again and she would be put in a bathroom with another woman. Or worse, a man. It is especially bad if its a younger boy. She just came out of puberty and having a younger boy see her would be really disturbing. One time a boy and a girl of 13 were bathing together and the girl rebelled only to end being spanked and crying, further humiliating her. The boy then took advantage of that and molested and laughed at her. It was like the last experience. Jennifer would never want anything like that happen to her again.
The nurses pick up Jennifer and dry her all over. Then they lift her into the bathroom an whilst the male is holding most of Jennifer up in under her armpits, the female holds Jen's legs up and away while Jennifer urinates and excrements in the toilet. "Good girl" they both say. They take the toilet paper and clean her anus and her vulva. They do not put the towel onto her until she dries up completely. So now the male nurses brushes her teeth whilst the female sprays deodorant on her armpits and puts perfume on her. They both kiss her and tell her shes a very cute little girl. They each take her hands and lead her into the kitchen of the Asylum. They make food for her and feed her. They lead her back into her room.
In her room her gown is put back on her by the male nurse while the female nurse opens the covers of her bed. The male nurse leads Jennifer into the bed and after she lays the female nurse covers her up. They turn of the lights and leave the room. Jennifer was already used to this life. She continued this life for years and years until she was mentally and physically cured. She was dismissed when she was 37 years old making it 25 years there. The days were more or less the same every day.
would have liked more detail of what happens. you just kinda said here a girl in an asylum. she gets abused grows up and leaves. YOU COULD HAVE DONE SO MUCH MORE.
You have a great imagination, but you really need help in proof reading and paragraph structures. This is the second story I've read, and I'm very impressed with this future fantasy world you have created. I feel you need to explain and describe that world more. Not a bad job from a new writer.
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