Our mate has squatters so we rock up like border agency and they leg it, leaving a girl behind
The neighbours curtains twitched as we drove slowly down the street looking for Number 23, an HMO House in Multiple Occupancy.
We parked up half on the pavement and left our van with “UK Border Agency,” emblazoned along the side and knocked on the door, it was sort of polite but we had the key.
Nobby waited all of two seconds before he banged again, the door trembled, “Wakey Wakey, Jihad time.”
That wound the neighbours up, anyway someone staggered to the door and let us in, “Rent day,” Nobby announced.
“You have no right,” the guy protested. Nobby floored him with an upper cut to the jaw.
“You have no fucking right to be here,” Nobby explained reasonably, “Now where’s the rent.”
“We cannot work, how we can pay rent?” another weasley guy pleaded.
Nobby sighed “Look mate, you claimed as you was gay and got persecuted back in Wazzockstan, so you’re a pretty boy, go on the game as a rent boy, sell fucking drugs how do I know but fucking pay up or fuck off back to Wazzockstan Ok, Kapish?”
“Maybe we could do some video?” I suggested,
“Absolute a mont,” Nobby agreed, ”Gay Gook Porn is really popular in Wazzockstan, maybe the Farsi will start a fan club for you.”
I laughed and then the door flew open.
“What is meaning of this!” some mouthy girl bellowed from inside her tent as she stormed in .
“Looking for our rent,” Nobby said appreciatively, “Reckon we might have found it, you lads got somewhere you would rather be only me and Tony fancy a bit of a bunk up with your bint.”
“You lay a finger on my sister and!” the smaller guy protested.
“He wants to stick his dick up her actually, does that count?” I asked, “You want to go to prison for assaulting a member of the UK Border Force,”
He figured that was not a great idea so he and his mate promptly fucked off.
“You lay one finger on me,” she threatened.
Nobby whipped her tent up from round her ankles and over her head, she only had a pair of red panties and a white bra on under it, not that they stayed on long.
“Fuck me she’s no fucking virgin,” Nobby says, “Look,” and he spread her cunt lips wide, A huge well used cavern glistened wetly, “Bags I get first fuck.”
“Rubber up mate you can get done for DNA remember,” I warned
“Got yah,” Nobby said as he dropped his kecks. Even rubbered up you could see where he got his nick name as his dick was like a carrot with a Brussel sprout on the end.
Her head was buried under the tent as Nobby stuck his knob up inside her. Having the tent round her head helped keep down the racket of her screaming as he fucked her with long vicious strokes like he wanted to fuck her in half.
He grunted, pulled out and stripped off the rubber and put it in a dog poo bag.
“Right lets see the bint”, he said and he pulled the tent off of her head. "For fucks sake have I been shagging that!” he exclaimed.
“I would to be fair,” I said.
“You’d have to be bloody half pissed,” Nobby said, “No wonder they fuck Camels, they’re better looking.”
She looked really upset.
“Give over, bit of lippy, leather corset, police woman's hat, nurses uniform maybe, - I would,” I admitted, “Might have to shave that rug off of her gut first and the stair carpet under her arms .”
“Prove it,” he says.
“Them cunts will be due back,” I says.
“Ah you’re all talk, tenner says you can’t” he says.
“You’re on,” I says and I dropped me kecks. Her black eyes followed my cock as I shoved it up her, “You all right?” I asked.
“No you are raping me,” she said angrily.
“So why are are you grinning?” I asked, “Anyway you wouldn’t be that juiced up if you weren’t enjoying it.”
Of course like a twat I hadn’t rubbered up and when I shot me load she started wailing as she went and she cum as well didn’t she.
“That weren’t bad, you should go on the game girl,” I said admiringly, “Have a shave first mind.”
“You fucking raped me,” she said rapidly picking up the lingo.
”So who has been fucking you, your brother, Uncle, Dad, fucking cousin or all twenty fucking three” I asked
“Way I saw it your brother and his mate was porking you when we entered through an unlocked door.” Nobby explained, “And that’s illegal in the UK.”
She pulled the tent over herself again, “Oh for fucks sake,” Nobby says and he rips the eye slit wide open and rips it down over her head, “Inglish!” he says, “You want to intergrate, ent you got no proper kit?.”
I had a think, “The blokes probably got jeans and T shirts and that, she could borrow something off them till we gets to the Charity shop.”
“Right,” said and he fucked off up the stairs.
“You raped me,” she said quietly, “I said no.”
“Nah,” I explained, the way I remember it you was desperate not to be dobbed in and offered your cunt to us, anyway Nobby fucked you first.”.
“You did it with no rubber, I might have baby!” she reminded me.
“Have an a fucking bortion,” I suggested.
“Found some,” Nobby announced as he came down carrying a white T shirt and some blue jeans.
I had the tent off her and Nobby pulled the T shirt over her head. It was nice and tight and emphasised her tits.
The Jeans were three inches too long, so I took some scissors and chopped the legs off to make shorts, It wasn’t Daisy Duke but you know after nine pints you would fancy it.
“Right lets get down the charity shop,” Nobby says.
She wouldn’t leave the fucking house.
“Oh come on you’re pretty,” I said, “For fucks sake.”
“I am naked!” she said.
“I’ll have your pants down then,” I suggested, “Now can you just get going,” I said and kicked her arse and propelled her out the open front door.
She hid her face with her hands, “For fuck’s sake,” I moaned, “You ent that ugly.”
“I need to go back inside,” she said.
“This is fucking UK get used to it,” I said, “You’re pretty ok?”
“No,” she said.
“Yes,” I said, “Fucking smile and ask the blokes if they fancy a quick time.”
I let her have my seat in the front of the van and climbed in the back door and set off down to the precinct.
We got her some gear from the charity shop, sort of loaned her fifty quid nice skirt, and jacket, hold up stockings from the corner shop, she wouldn’t go in as it was Bunglas running it.
Next we went round and saw Auntie Annie. Not my real Auntie but she ran the knocking shop on Belvedere Road.
“New bint for you Annie, Illegal.” Nobby shouted.
“All right pipe down,” Annie replied, “So you fancy going on’t game then love?”
“No these animals kidnapped me!” she said.
“They done you a favour, you don’t want to be locked up and deported do you?” Annie asked.
“I suppose not,” says the bint.
“I got a spare room as it happens,” Annie announced.
“Look you might as well, we’re changing the locks on your old place and boarding the windows up,” we explained.
“I am not a whore!” she snapped.
“Fucks like a dream just needs practice,” I explained, “And a bloody shave downstairs.”
Annie spoke up “Look love most of the blokes is your lot, fit spunked up acylium seekers, just have your hair done nice and some decent make up so you looks English and.”
“Then you can tell immigration you been trafficked and get a visor,” Nobby explained.
“You mean Visa mate,” I told him, “Look you get the van back to the yard and I’ll see you down the Dog and Duck for last orders.”
I hung around, didn’t want the bint doing a runner, Annie took her upstairs to the bathroom, “Get your kit off lets see this fur then,” she ordered, “What’s you name?”
The girl replied something unpronounceable.
“Fuck that I’ll call you Kate,” Annie decided.
Nobby came in with the bag of stuff from the shops and left again.
Annie and me “Helped” the girl undress. Annie sat he on the bog and got out her powered razor like hairdressers use. The fur was very soon gone off her belly and under her arms. Bit of blusher and some lippy and she didn’t look too bad really.
She looked even better when Annie found her a nice blue leather corset and matching knee length leather boots.
Her nips gave away she was getting excited, then Annie took the wooden handled bog brush and eased it up “Kate’s” cunt as she sat on the bog.
I couldn’t resist sucking Kate’s left tit as Annie gently wanked her, “Easy love, just enjoy it, Annie said.
I don’t think anyone had wanked her before, I just reckon they rammed their meat up her with no thought about how she felt, anyway her eyes were wide open as she cum with some lovely little yelps as Annie wanked her and rubbed her clit.
Next thing two girls appeared, “Hi I’m Saskia,” and “I’m Alia” they announced, “Have you come to join us?”
Kate looked aghast, both girls had white bras, white corsets and suspender belts, white stockings white shoes and no knickers, on had her left thumb upm her cunt the other her right,
“Did you just cum?” Sakia asked.
“Yes she did , beautifully,” Annie explained, “She’s going to live with us.”
“Oh goody, last Friday was hard work,” Saskia admitted, “Good money though, and you’ll like the Johns ‘cause they’re mainly your lot.”
Nothing turns me off quicker than bints nattering so I fucked off down the Chippy for a kebab.
Anyway we went back to number 23 next day, had G.Hardy Builders builders Marple (Jihadi builders get it) signs on the van and has a bit of a clear out.
Three bin liners of clothes, nice 26“ Telly, bag of smart phones and about 3kg of semtex, anyway Nobby’s mate makes nice figurines out of Semtex so we made £50 on that, £ 50 on the telly, phones £20 a pop, we still got about a dozen and the rest went down the tip, still “Wazzy Mally” what owned the gaff and wanted them gone saw us right, and Annie owes us favour.
So If you see a 65 reg Transit with “Border Agency” on it watch out ‘cause it’s probably us and Nobby is a bloody awful driver and we painted the Border Agency magnetic signs us selves.