It's just me, some toys and my imagination this afternoon.
There are times when a feeling takes over me and I find myself sitting around in panties thinking about how great it would feel to have my ass stuffed full and my prostate crushed and pounded. Today is one of those days. I’m not gay, dear reader, and I would certainly tell you if I was. I often consider that unfortunate. I’m sure if I were, I could more easily find someone willing to help me with tearing off these little bikini panties and filling my ache. There have only been a few times in my life that I was able to be penetrated deeply by a partner and only in one of those occasions was I wearing panties. Neither of those relationships worked out so I find myself sitting alone on my sofa in my panties, writing this and contemplating how I intend to defile myself.
I am the proud owner of several anal toys and dildos. My two favorites are an 8 inch dildo with a lot of texture and a much thicker man o’war. At 8” in length and 1.5” in diameter the smaller of the two is usually left in the toy box to be used when I don’t have time to play but need something in me for a few hard, fast minutes. The man o’war is almost 10 inches with 8.2 insertable inches and a 2” diameter. This is the only toy in my arsenal that can satisfy my greedy colon 90% of the time. If I were careful I could use it for a few hard, fast minutes when I am in a hurry, but, I enjoy the abuse this thing can deliver too much to stop when I get started.
Today is Sunday, and like I said earlier, today is one of those days where my desires are overwhelming me. I have a meeting in the morning and I don’t want to show up with weak legs and a weak sphincter muscle. Hopefully I will be able to hold out until Tuesday. There’s nothing going on Wednesday that will require my total self control. Days like this usually start with me sitting around, horny, in a pair of panties and watching porn. There’s an empty ache in my colon. If you love anal, you know what I mean. I’ll let the day continue as much as possible like this. I may make a trip to the supermarket with my panties on under my typical cis-male clothing but I prefer to stay in and enjoy being naked in the soft panties of the day. Typical tasks become erotic when in panties. Bending over to pick up a laundry basket becomes exaggerated while I think about presenting myself to be penetrated by my perfect mate.
In an ideal world, my perfect girlfriend would be spending these kinds of days with me but sitting on the sofa in her panties watching TV while I spent the day doing her laundry and performing little tasks to keep her happy. She would treat me how many of you ladies complain that your husbands treat you. I’d be largely ignored while washing her clothes, bringing her snacks, folding her laundry and cleaning her bathroom. I would be occasionally rewarded by an unexpected smack on the bottom that I wasn’t prepared to fully enjoy. She would leave for the gym and I’d be left to spend the afternoon horny, frustrated and expected to have dinner planned and ready on time.
She would return from the gym smelling of sweat and turned on from watching the other members of the gym working out. Despite my continued requests that she shower, she would instead insist on groping me and pressuring me for head. I would finally relent to her constant selfish demand to be given oral pleasure and I’d pull her shorts and sweaty wet panties off. While she lounged on the fresh, clean sheets of the bed I’d just made, I would position myself to start eating her pussy. I would try to ignore the smell of sweaty pussy and ass and try not to think about the salty bitter taste. This attempt would be futile because of the constant pressure she put on the back of my head and from her spreading her legs and ass cheeks as wide open as possible so she could enjoy my humiliation. She would pet me through the panties I was wearing and occasionally reach in to probe around my dry anus but in the end, her groping would only be to help her escalate herself to orgasm. She would cum hard against my mouth and I’d be left aching and frustrated while I put clean sheets on the bed again. After ruining the clean sheets and leaving the smell of dirty crotch and ass on my face, she would head to the bathroom for a shower, locking the door behind her so I couldn’t get in to wash my face. Dinner would bring more of the same role reversal and mistreatment.
It’s ironic that the treatment women claim to hate is the treatment I fantasize about on afternoons like this. This is the treatment that is in my mind as I go through my day taking care of necessary household tasks and while preparing my toys for the night. I’ll have a few drinks with dinner, watch a few more porn scenes and start attaching my strap-on harness to a tool box or chair that is the perfect height for the evening. I’ll strap the dildo to the tool box if I want to have the feeling of riding it cowgirl. I can bounce, twist and grind it inside of me until it hits bottom and the pain prevents further pushing. I can sit straight up, push my hips forward and feel the deep texture of the dong head drag hard across my prostate while I thrust and pin the dildo down hard at a right angle to my spine. When I feel more in the mood for doggie style, I strap the toy to a wooden desk chair. The height makes me have to raise my ass up to get full penetration. This penetration isn’t as stimulating as it is with the dong mounted lower, but the emotion is more erotic as my ass is presented vulnerably to my imaginary partner.
Some days I start slow with an enema then my small dong to get everything warmed up for the man o’war. I’ll do it this way if I’m in a gentle mood. If I’ve been wearing panties and watching porn all day, I’m generally not in a gentle mood. When I’ve been nursing sexual frustration all day and thinking about submitting in a role reversal scenario, all I want is fast, uncomfortable, deep penetration. I lubricate my dildos with a little water based lube and a little liquid soap. I want the toy dry enough to stick, pull and irritate but wet enough that I can get it in fast enough and hard enough to cause cramping and rejection of the foreign object.
During my perfect evening, my perfect girl would choose the size of the strap-on, would choose the position, the timing and nature of the evening. She would put on the strap-on before dinner and wear it as a constant reminder to me of what she was going to do. She would pick a movie for us to watch and grow more and more touchy as the movie progressed. She would be the alpha and my perfect night would be determined by her.
Since she was tired from an afternoon at the gym and had already cum from me giving her head earlier, she would fall asleep early leaving me worked up and unsatisfied. This would be very frustrating but the selfishness and denial of pleasure would be a huge turn on. I wouldn’t be able to control myself at this point and would have to take care of my needs on my own. I could get angry and go to the bedroom and masturbate and leave her on the sofa for the night, but instead I lay my head in her lap so I could have my face close to her vagina. I would lay there smelling her, kissing her thighs and touching myself. Occasionally I would pull my hard cock out of my panties and wipe up the pre-cum on my dick and taste it. Since I would be so worked up and wouldn’t want to move to get a towel I would put my cock back in my panties and fill them with cum when I climaxed. With my perfect girl asleep and my panties wet and full of cum, I’d start to doze off a little as well.
I would be done for the day at this point. I would have spent the day working and worked up. The orgasm would have been a hard one that would drain me of my urge for being feminine for at least the next few weeks. She would wake up from her power nap to find my head on her lap and would assume that I still wanted to play. She would shift around and pull her artificial cock out from between her thighs and position it so it was sitting against my forehead. She would tap it against my head gently realizing I was asleep. I would have planned to wake up before her and clean myself up before she realized that I jerked off in my panties while laying in her lap. This is something I would never want to admit to doing and wouldn’t want to be caught like this.
She would think that I was still in the mood for role play and with my head in her lap she would try to line her cock up with my mouth. I would fight this attempt since I was no longer in the mood for role reversal after my intense orgasm. She would make this difficult by trying to reach into my panties with one hand as the other hand was guiding my head to her crotch. I wouldn’t be able to fight both and I wouldn’t want her to discover the cold wet load in my panties. I would eventually give up and find my mouth being pushed open and filled for the first time with a dildo. I would soon remember that it had been in my ass just a few short weeks earlier. I would try to fight as this realization came to me, but the struggle would be useless. She would be looking down enjoying the view of my mouth being filled with cock and the shock and confusion in my eyes at her forcing this to a new level. She would enjoy this for several minutes. I would be able to tell by how forceful she is and by the angry look on her face that she is taking revenge for the times her ex-boyfriends fucked her face with no compassion. She would hold my head hard against her, thrusting into me as much as she could while sitting on the sofa. She would take it out long enough for me to breathe and cough up saliva. She would watch me wretch and would try to get her hands to my panties and when I would push her had away, she would press my face onto her shaft again. I would be almost willing to endure the embarrassment than to continue letting her express her vengeance on me.
She would finally tire of this game and would push me off of her. I would try to curl up in a ball from humiliation from what had just happened and from fear that if I didn’t curl up she would see the wet stain in my crotch. The smell of my cum would fill my head and I would try to keep my crotch away from her. I would try to get up to go clean myself and she would force me back down. I would let my knees slide off the couch onto the floor to put more space between my sticky cock and balls and her. I would be telling her that I am tired and that my throat hurt and that I didn’t want to play after she forced the anal toy in my mouth. While I pleaded she would be moving into position behind me while keeping pressure on my shoulders so I couldn’t stand or move. I wouldn’t use the safe word. If I did everything would stop and she would wonder why I kept my crotch concealed. She would continue with her role play and I would have to endure whatever she did until I could think of a way to get rid of my dirty panties. To prevent her from touching them, I would pull them down in the back to expose my anus for penetration. As much as I would have loved the penetration an hour earlier, the last thing I would want after a hard orgasm is to be ass fucked. She would remind me that the dong was still sloppy from the blow job and I would feel it pressing cold and wet against my squeezing, puckering anus.
Those are the thoughts that fill my horny mind just as I slam onto my dildo. Everything I wanted, everything I planned everything I expected happens at once. The relaxed muscles of my anus are suddenly forced open more than is comfortable. I feel the head of the toy forcing its way through and past the round bundle of muscles. The change of texture from the bulbous head to the slick shaft is a relief to my anus but at the same time the head is opening my colon and stretching it painfully. The penetration is fast and I’m filled completely within a second but the pain and discomfort causes my mind to experience it in slow motion. In an instant I have pushed down as far as I can go and I feel a sharp pain where the head of the man o’war can go no further. The thin layer of water based lube and soap have done all they can to assist in the penetration. The soap is now irritating my bowels and causing me to cramp. The shock of the sudden stretch has caused my body to go into involuntary spasms of rejection. I can hear a grunt coming out of my mouth as my body is forcing itself off the foreign object. I can’t help but expel the thickness from my body the first time, but I force it back in desperately and fight to stay on it and bounce as my insides continue attempt to reject the soapy girth.
The deep pounding I give myself quickly tires me and feels wonderful but it can never bring me to orgasm. This is not a problem. I pull the dildo out of its harness and squat on the balls of my feet for the next stage of the evening. By holding the dildo by the end and forcing it inside me I can work it in and out faster than I could sitting on it. This quick in and out motion hits my prostate like a jack hammer. The intense stimulus quickly forces my prostate to spasm and I have what can best be described as a prostate orgasm. These spasms cause a thin liquid to be ejaculated and for more intense rejection spasms to occur. I continue doing this as long as I can hold out. The prostate orgasms will continue as long as I have the energy and lubrication to keep up the tempo. My body will ejaculate the fluid every few seconds and I’ll sometimes stop long enough to position a cup to catch some of it. I often wonder what this liquid is but since it doesn’t smell or taste like urine I enjoy drinking it and pouring it on my face. I know it isn’t semen either because it doesn’t taste like my loads. As long as there’s a fast prostate massage, the liquid keeps coming so I have plenty to play with. When my legs can’t handle squatting anymore I put the big, wet dildo back in the harness. Back on my knees I am able to crash down on it deeply but unfortunately much more slowly. To get the prostate stimulation that I was enjoying while squatting, I’ll get the smaller 1.5” dildo and force both pieces of unforgiving PVC into my body. With my anus stretched to its maximum and my prostate crushed under the pressure, I can’t go much longer. I will thrust against it a few times before my body forces it out. I’ll be able to reinsert it a few more times before the pain is unbearable, then I’ll collapse. I usually collapse into a cold, wet spot of lubricant and the liquid that squirts from my cock during intense prostate massage. I lay there and catch my breath while the sound of porn still plays in the background. I’ll often find myself moaning the name of one of the 2 women that have penetrated me in the past while I am recovering from the exhaustion. The multiple prostate orgasms usually leave me satisfied enough to go to bed at this point, but if there is a particularly hot girl on the screen, I may go for one last orgasm and dump a true load of cum that has been building up in me.
Laying in bed afterward with my ass sore and gaping, I think back on my fantasy of having a woman penetrating me roughly when I am no longer desperately hungry for it. My mind drifts off into this fantasy or fantasies of being gang banged by a group of women with strap ons who use me well past my point of pleasure. I often fall asleep like this but other times I find I have the energy to treat myself to a few more minutes of of driving my dong back into my ragged ass.