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Introduction:

How I found out that I like going to bed with men.

I was only 23 when I first moved to New York in the late 70s. It was a great time for me. I hit the ground running and relished the fact that I was living there.

Being young and new I was up for anything, and that was exactly the right attitude to have to make the most of living in Manhattan. I had a studio on the Upper East Side and was earning a good salary.

I had plenty to do and lots of girlfriends. New York girls at the time (who knows? maybe still) were just as horny as the guys, as far as I could tell.

There were plenty of times I would hook up with a girl I'd just met in my local bar that night and have a couple of weeks together and then move on. No recriminations. It took me by surprise at first but that approach suited me perfectly.

I could smoke weed and jerk off at home if nothing better came along. Hey, it was my own place. No worries about who was coming in unexpectedly. I loved the freedom.

I was on my way home from the bar one Saturday night, solo this time. As usual I stopped at the newsagent at 79th and First Ave which got the early editions of the Sunday NY Times. This night I picked up a couple of skin mags to read later. Folded them into my paper for the couple of blocks walk home. Those days, that was it for porn. There was no internet and not even VHS.

There were ads in the back of the men's magazines for 2-minute 8mm loops of smut and you could buy a hand-held viewer to watch them on. Not much money but it did seem like a lot of trouble so I never bothered.

But those little ads at the back of the mags also sometimes had little thumbnail images with them and I found them to be more erotic than the full page girls in the meat of the magazine. They were tiny and blurred, but these were obviously people actually fucking, not just girls posing, so it was more exciting and I would strain to see. I even came to know which publications had the best ad section and bought accordingly.

Sometimes the ads would include one or two gay or bi images. These were the first ones I had ever seen. I found myself imagining what it would be like to be with another guy. Purely as a fantasy exercise... but I would get off more quickly and more intensely when I imagined ...... well... I didn't have a clue, really. I had no idea what I would like or would want to do. It was the differentness of it that set me off.

So this Saturday night I was walking home with my paper. It was about 2am and I was pretty toasted. As I walked down 1st, I passed a guy, maybe late 30s, leaning against a car.

He asked me something. I didn't hear him so, being the nice polite naive 23 year old small town boy that I was, I stopped and asked him to repeat himself. We got to talking. Well, he was talking and I was too polite to cut him off, as I recall.

I still don't remember what his pitch was but it must have been convincing. He talked me into his car. I remember having no sense of his intentions but he'd talked about some interesting bootleg music and did I want to come and listen to it. I was kinda drunk and my 'game for anything' attitude had worked well so far. I think that was about the entire reasoning process.

His apartment building was in the 50s so only a few minutes drive away and I remember being impressed that he had underground parking and a doorman.

We entered his apartment and he got me a beer and pulled out some ready-rolled joints and offered me one. So yeah, why not? And then put on a studio tape of John Lennon - which was pretty fucking cool, to be honest. Then he said he just go change, so I just sat in his living room getting high and listening to the music.

When he came back, he'd put on a robe. As far as I could tell he had no clothes on underneath.

I thought this was a bit weird but was stoned by then and still didn't catch on what was up.

So then he said he'd had a real busy day in the studio and could I massage his shoulders? And I waas like Um.. OK and did. Finally beginning to realize what was going on.

I began to sober up with the thought but kept on rubbing his shoulders. While I did so, I started to imagine what might happen next. I never made a conscious decision to go along with it but I was intrigued. I was being seduced by this older guy.

He said thanks for the massage and now it was my turn. I said OK and he told me to lie on the carpet and he would give me a thorough massage. I lay on my back and he leaned over me.

I was wearing an old Levi's denim shirt, the kind with the popper buttons, and he started pulling then apart, one after the other. Then he pulled the shirt tails out of my jeans and left me exposed to the waist and he started touching me all over. It was definitely touching. There was no pretense at a massage. I realized that he just wanted his hands on my body.

This was completely new for me. I'd never had a man touch me like that. It was weird and I thought about bailing out but it was strangely compelling, too.

As he leaned over me his robe fell open. I looked down and could see his penis. It was clearly erect.

I looked away but then looked again.

He saw that I was looking and leaned down and whispered into my ear "do you like what you see?".

I didn't answer. But I didn't get up and run out of his place.

He knew he had me. I felt his hand slip under my belt and the tips of his fingers brush into my pubic hair. But my jeans were tight and he couldn't get further. I sucked in my stomach just slightly. Just enough to let him know I was OK with what he was doing without saying it out loud. I still wasn't ready to admit to myself that I was OK with what was happening, let alone to someone else.

He read the cue and I felt him unbuckle my belt and undo the button of my jeans. Then his hand went back in and I felt him touching my cock. I was hard. I hadn't realized until he touched me.

He suggested we would be more comfortable on his bed. I was stoned, and curious and aroused. I nodded. He helped me up and took me by the hand to the next room.

When we were next to his bed he stopped and turned and pulled me against him. His cheek against my cheek. He murmured 'You're so hot' into my ear. It gave me shivers. I felt my bare chest against the silk of his robe and his hands pulling on my ass as he ground his hard cock against mine.

He reached between us, pulled the zip of my fly and then with a hand on each of my hips pushed my jeans and underwear down over the curve of my bottom. They fell to my ankles and I stepped out of my sneakers so that I could tug the jeans and boxers off completely. Then he took hold of my open shirt and I slipped my arms out. I stood naked in front of him except for my white sports socks.

He offered me the end of the sash that was holding his robe closed and I took it and pulled.

As it came untied, he shrugged his shoulders and it slid off him to the floor. Now he stood naked in front of me. He was well-built with big pecs and it looked like he worked out. I was still young and skinny at the time. He had quite thick chest hair, I was completely smooth except for my pubes.

He said "What would you like to do?" and I answered truthfully "I don't know".

That was probably the first moment he sensed that I was new to this. I could tell he was a little surprised but also excited.

"Is this your first time with a guy?" he asked. I admitted it was.

He told me "don't worry,I think you'll enjoy it. I'll go slow and we'll only do what you're comfortable with."

He was such a nice guy.

He took my hand and guided it to his erect penis. I held it for a moment. Feeling it against the palm of my hand. Gripping it, I could tell that his was a bigger cock than mine. Not longer, but fatter.

As I stood there, just holding his cock, he started to move his hips so that he was sort of fucking my fist.

I started to stroke up and down. I am uncircumcised, so pre-cum under my foreskin is enough lubrication for a nice wank, but this man was cut, so it needed a different technique, which I didn't koow...

I didn't know want to rub it raw, but then he said It would be nicer if it had some moisture on it and, as he was talking, I felt his hand on my shoulder pressing me down.... this was going further than I really wanted, but I didn't feel I could stop him from making me suck his cock.

I knelt down, keeping my hand on his hard penis. He said "open your mouth" and I did and I felt his cock go between my lips. I kept my fist round the base of his shaft to stop from pushing too much into my mouth. I felt the head of his cock against my tongue. Felt my lips stretch around his shaft. He didn't thrust hard, just quietly stood there and so I started sucking on it and exploring his cock with my tongue.

I took my hand away so I could get more cock into my mouth. I was enjoying it. Reaching down, I started stroking myself as I blew him. He said "touch my balls, baby," so with my other hand I started fondling his balls while I sucked him off.

This went on for a few minutes and then he said I should get up and lie on the bed and he would do the same for me.

So I did that. He pulled back the covers and I lay on his cool cotton sheet. It was strange and arousing and taboo and so many things were running through my head.

Lying naked on a man's bed while he stood over me... looking at my naked body... he stroked his cock while he looked at me. I wanted to cover myself but instead I lay there and let myself be ogled the way I had done with women. It was strange and pleasing to be on the other side of that. To feel that I was making him horny just by looking at me.

He leaned down and took my cock in his other hand so that he was stroking us both at the same time. It was so erotic... then he climbed between my thighs and started to suck my cock.

I held his head in my hands as he sucked me. He reached up and pushed against the insides of my thighs so that my legs spread and he lifted them up onto his shoulders as he continued with his mouth on my penis. His hands cupped the undersides of my ass cheeks and he pulled them apart slightly... I could feel air on my anus as he exposed it.... and then I felt his finger there.

He was still sucking me off as I felt him start to push his finger into my ass. It felt wet, and I realized that he had managed to put some lubrication on his hand. But my ass was tight anyway.

He took his mouth from my cock, looked up at me and said "relax, you'll like it". He continued to look right at me and I felt his finger again pressing on my asshole. I looked into his eyes and relaxed my muscles as much as I could and felt him slip in a little.

"Do you like this?" he asked, and I did. It felt strangely great.

He pushed further in and then pulled out again. Then back in and I felt him start to finger fuck my ass. All the while he was looking right into my eyes from his position down between my legs.

Then I felt him start to enter me with a second finger and he repeated the process... slowly allowing me to get used to it and then starting to fuck in and out.

I could feel him slightly twisting his wrist, too, as he fingered me in and out, which was driving me wild.

Then he lowered his mouth back to my cock and in about ten seconds made me cum. My cock in a man's mouth and his fingers up my ass were definitely a short-cut to orgasm.

He sucked down every drop and then looked up and told me "I'm going to fuck you now".

What could I say? I was lying with my legs spread and his fingers inside me. My asshole was well lubricated. My inhibitions were screaming NO, but the reality was that this man wanted to fuck me and from the depths of my being, I was willing.



I nodded silently.

He withdrew his fingers from my ass and got up onto his haunches.

My legs were already on his shoulders, so my bottom came up off the bed as he rose.

He reached behind himself and located the lubricant; rubbed it all over his cock. It seemed a lot bigger now. Then, with another whispered "relax" he leaned over me and guided his cock against my asshole.

I felt his cock head press against my ass and tried to relax as he pushed harder. Then I felt my muscles suddenly give way and his head slipped into me.

I reached down and grabbed my cheeks and spread my ass as much as possible, trying to make it easier for his cock to enter me.

He put more of his weight against me and I felt him slip further in.

He was taking his time and was very patient and gradually I was able to adjust to having his cock in my ass and eventually I felt his balls against my bum and knew that he had got his entire penis inside me.



He stayed there for a few moments. Looking down at me. Then he asked "Ready?".

I nodded again and he started to withdraw and then push back in. Out and in, out and in, out and in. It felt huge every time he pushed back into me. Our eyes stayed locked on each other though, and I could see that he was taking his time and being gentle with me. It seemed to go on for hours but had probably only been a few minutes when he started to increase the speed of his thrusts into me. It was clear he was going to cum soon.

I reached up and held my arms around his shoulders. He lowered himself onto me and I felt his breath in the crook of my shoulder. It felt so erotic and made me mentally give myself up completely. I lowered my legs and put them around his waist. My heels were on the small of his back. I was clinging onto his neck as he fucked me faster and faster.

My whole body hanging onto his. Feeling his cock entering me over and over, faster and harder, in and in and in and in......

Then I felt him tense and he started to cum.

His cock became harder still as he shot. I clung to him, bucking my ass up to meet his cock.

He collapsed onto me and I felt his weight pressing me onto his bed. I lowered my legs but kept them wide apart. His cock stayed in me while we lay there.

Finally he pulled out, climbed off me and pulled up the covers. I turned over onto my side and felt him spooning me. His softening cock was against my butt and his arm was draped over me. His hand roamed over my chest and belly and gently cupped my soft cock and balls. My ass burned, but in a good way.

He kissed and nuzzled the nape of my neck, something I had done with girls so many times. Now I was on the receiving end, I relished the sensation.

If he'd wanted to fuck me again right away, I would have been more than eager. My body was enveloped by this man and it felt like something so natural, something I had been missing. I drifted off to blissful sleep in his arms.

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