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Comments from animal99
| Date | Story title | Comment |
|---|---|---|
| 2013-03-27 00:42:55 | when I was 8 years old_(0) | I read your story and even cried a little for that little girl who was going thru this. As far as stories go, it read more like a statement pieced together from the answers to questions from a Policeman... it was all a bit to mechanical and not fluid. If you were to rewrite it, your story could easily compell your reader to experience emotions as they feel for the victim or to be extremely seductive(?) if written to fulfill a fantasy as the rapists... but it needs more "filler" either way- either with more thoughts the victim or in favor of the rapists. |
| 2013-03-27 23:00:16 | Family Knows Best Chapter 2 Revised | Excellent story :) I almost forgot it wasn't a professionally written story on some magazine... no mispellings nor any glaring grammar errors, whatever methods you used to write and proofread this story is how you should use for your future stories! |
| 2013-03-28 23:31:26 | Best Sister in the World!!! Part 2 | beautiful story... i could easily believe it happened, that's how good it was :) |
| 2013-03-28 23:40:22 | Best Sister in the World!!! Part 2 | and to that person who says nipples can't be the size of thumbs - you obviously haven't seen enough real women, in an excited state. The first time I encountered a girl with large nipples, they weren't large until I'd benn licking and nibbing her tits for a while. When i went to give her a gentle suck i ended up biting her nipple because it had grown to such large proportions in my mouth and i unfortunately had not realized until my teeth nipped her as i started suckling. Needless to say she was in quite a bit of pain. Most girls nipples ARE small and may get firm when excited but don't grow as large as a thumb... most get no thicker or larger than a pencil eraser. But there are an few who's nipples do grow to exaggerated proportions. Some womens' nipples never grow firm... it all depends on the woman, how sensitive her nipples are and how long she's been turned on. |
| 2013-03-28 12:58:50 | Uncle And Me | My friend, your story idea is good but you are obviously a person who is not a native English speaker... or you chose to not proof read your story. There are many expressions you use that do not make sense in the English language but I'm sure make a lot of sense in your native language. Please have someone who is a native English speaker proofread your story - it could be a winner if you fixed those expressions/idioms and grammar mistakes. There are other errors that make it difficult to enjoy your story simply because they get in the way of good storytelling. Please don't give up on writing but please get some help along the way :) |