| 2012-08-01 11:31:12 |
a good accident_(1)
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Definitely a good story teller. This is my first story of yours I've read and it's distracting trying to put punctuation in the sentences while still trying to keep what's going on clear. Once you learn sentence construction, where commas and periods go, your attention to detail and step by step progression of events, it'll be fun reading. As evidenced by the length of your story and having only one erotic episode, kind of says you're more into content than strictly fuck/suck stick it where ever stuff. I do think that when you establish where your characters are at, some more good sexual scenes whether short or involved won't hurt. I enjoyed reading your story and look forward to more. |