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Comments from WantSumCandyLittleGirl
| Date | Story title | Comment |
|---|---|---|
| 2010-07-24 12:00:28 | That's my girl | Actual sex between a man and a 5 yr old is not as simple as you are trying to make it out to be. Nor is just having your way with a 5 yr old as simple, but the premise is there. Now you have to work on your writing skills, specifically the creation of the plot and developing the story. Grammar and writing were ok, and it has promise. Keep trying - you'll get there. |
| 2010-07-24 12:04:34 | Cult of Incest | Ok, you have promise but you need to learn how to write better. Use of punctuation is a must, as is learning to draw out the plot a little more. Spelling is another hit, so use an editor. Try creating your stories using MS Word or something similar then running it through the Spell & Grammar Checker. That would be a great start. Outside that, your story shows promise. Thanks. |
| 2010-07-24 12:08:14 | The Tower_(1) | Sexiest parking lot - where in the hell did you dig that out of? Please, if you're going to write trash, let us know in the Intro. I couldn't get past the first couple paragraphs - as nothing made any sense. Or, perhaps that was what you intended? If so, sorry - go somewhere else. It doesn't work here. |
| 2010-07-24 12:12:03 | Fun with Dianne | So, is it Diane, Dianne, or Dianna? Once I saw all three names in the first minute or so, I was lost. Couldn't concentrate. If this is yours, you need to find a way to make sure the characters always have the same name throughout. If you can't keep that little detail straight, why and how can I expect you to keep other details straight. |
| 2010-07-24 12:42:04 | Bitch in Heat_(0) | Honestly, that was fantastic. |