2012-02-05 04:22:02 |
Deep down her throat
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I am only giving you a Positive because the premise of the story, and the basic story in and of itself, is good. You do need to get either a spell checker or a proof reader. It is spelled choke - not chock. Chock is what you use to keep wheels from turning. Choke is what happens when a throat is blocked. There were other spelling mistakes, but all in all, not too bad for a first time. |
2012-02-05 04:27:51 |
My BFFs Daddy
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The spelling left a lot to be desired, the premise was ok, though. The grammar - girl, get a spell checker or a proof reader, but come on. This was almost as bad a reading a middle school boy trying his hand at writing a novel. And what exactly is a dick bomb? |
2012-02-05 04:36:45 |
My Dogs Name Is Buck, And He Likes To Fuck
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Well, kind of a good story, although I had to give you a Negative. Reason? Spelling, grammar, and you have no clue how or what it is like to mate with a dog. Go back, learn what there is about bestiality with dogs, and try again. Oh yeah, also learn how to write. Paragraph separation works wonders, as does learning how to properly put together a paragraph and a story. |
2012-02-05 04:46:15 |
The First Night She Tried Anal
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Good story, most well written with a few minor spelling issues. Easily overlooked as your description of the scene was very sensual and erotic. Thanks. |
2012-02-07 17:09:04 |
i fucked my neice
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WTF - ever learn how to format? Separate paragraphs? Anything? As for using the Young tag - well, I suppose being 21 is young to you, but not in the true sense of this site. Sucked. |