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Comments from FamilyFuckerIII
| Date | Story title | Comment |
|---|---|---|
| 2011-02-26 22:03:19 | Slip covers on the shoes, cable ties on the wrists and a spreader bar between the ankles. But so far, so good. Keep it up horse! | |
| 2011-02-28 00:02:31 | Sexy Stater Sis | My vote won't do fuck, but you need to work on your dialogue. I still don't see why you were voted so lowly. The story itself is decent, but the communication between the characters seems strained. Just listen to conversations people have and try to imitate it using your characters. Hope this helps you. FamilyFuckerIII |
| 2011-03-05 22:50:42 | Oh So Versatile | Enjoyed it thoroughly. Thanks. |
| 2011-03-13 16:08:32 | Sweet Melody | Very interesting premise |
| 2011-03-22 00:09:34 | Sarah and miss Summers | I think the line breaks are the effect of pressing enter at the end of a sentence or line. Other than the mistakes, it's a good effort. Repost at least without the weird line breaks, and add more of a story to it. Why was her teacher suddenly turned on by her? There is a lot to explore about the backstory. It made no sense for the teacher to just go and attack Sarah for what I thought was no reason other than her being attractive. And I agree with LT about the guys liking her but not saying anything to her. It would have made sense to make Sarah younger, then her isolation would be justified. |