2010-04-19 03:06:44 |
My First Hotwife Experiance
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I would like to see the pictures. Please tell me how! |
2014-03-19 02:34:38 |
mom lured her own teenage son
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This is by far one of the worst attempts at writing a story I have seen on here. Don't quit your day job! |
2011-08-25 02:43:00 |
The Pin
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You also need to distinguish the difference between fiancee as a future spouse and finance as in money matters. You did get it right once though. Another word that you misuse frequently that bugs me is defiantly when you actually mean definitely. But other than that a great story even though it was somewhat long. Keep up the good work. |
2011-08-26 05:03:07 |
Innocent Mother Seduces Son Ch. 1
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Spelling and grammar leave a lot to be desired, but all in all a good story, what there is of it. |
2011-08-30 00:05:46 |
Not so picture perfect
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I didn't like the way the first half of this ended because it left you totally confused as to what Judy had actually done. This half was a real tug at your emotions and a great love story with a truly happy ending after the first half being such a downer. The only complaint I have is the glaring inconsistency between the first half where Gary catches them in the motel and Judy's side of the story where she and Pete are caught in her own bed at home. Other than that, I really loved it, especially the way it ended. Keep writing because you really have a natural talent for it. |