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Comments from Vanion_3000
| Date | Story title | Comment |
|---|---|---|
| 2008-11-21 22:17:15 | Public Display | Other than a few spelling mistakes, very well done and very hot. One suggestion, you might try using a line space between paragraphs. It would make it a little easier for the reader. Very Hot. |
| 2009-02-26 14:33:27 | Parminder, Stranded | That this is a TRUE story I have my doubts, but anything in this day and age is possible, so I'll give the author the benifit of the doubt. If it really is a true story, I can then understand the long lead up to the meat of the story, which is what most people are here for. You seem to be trying to make a point about life. I would say an Atitude Adjustment. That's fine as far as I can see, but it was a bit long. For the rest, Very, very, hot. Well done. Keep them coming, but do try to shorten them just a little bit. |
| 2009-02-26 14:51:51 | Sarah and I_(0) | The comments of the last two who posted are good advice for the most part. I would heed most of it if I were you. But remember, you are trying to develope your own writing style and there are no hard and fast rules. I do have to compliment you on breaking the paragraphs with a space. A lot of people on this site, and not all of them Amateurs, don't. That makes them difficult to read. All in all, well done. Just try to be a little more descriptive in places. Keep them coming. vanion_3000 |
| 2009-03-01 20:35:03 | split | For a first attempt, well done. One suggestion though, split the paragraphs with a line break between them. It makes it easier for the reader to follow a story. |
| 2009-07-26 05:48:40 | A Hot Afternoon | To: READER 2009-04-23 23:10:40 I have got to say that though I have not been back to this site for a while, if that was a example of your writing: Very good. Send me a PM. I would like to know more about you and your writing. And that is as honest as you can get. Vanion_3000 |