| 2019-12-10 16:21:24 |
Lovejoy
|
I did like the story, a lot and will be looking forward to the next chapter, but as noted you have some spelling mistakes, misused words and textual errors. I too fight with those particular language demons. If you read it three or four times, or use some one to edit it for you, you can get past most of that. Because of your skill at character development and story line growth, if you can clean up the errors you will have one of the best stories I've read and I've read and wrote a lot of them. Also take the criticism seriously even if the poster is being an ass about it. In every critique there is a grain of truth. learn to find it. But most of all keep at it. you are a great story teller. |
| 2019-12-30 17:34:37 |
TUNNEL of TRUST
|
As a Vietnam war veteran, as a struggling writer, as a long time reader of everything from the classics to hard porn I thank you for this story. There are two kinds of erotic stories, the stroke story which s written to give the reader material for a masturbatory gala. This is not one of those. This is a story of passion, love, hate, pain and redemption with erotic moments mixed in. A human story, a story of people. Please keep writing and DO NOT stop at eroticism. You are way to talented to limit your self in that way. |