| 2011-12-02 18:29:30 |
Young Indy Jones & the Gift of Wet Pussies
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An interesting story, but not really my thing. I enjoyed the writing but the premises left me a bit wanting. I look forward to new stories from you and hope to find something the appeals to me more. |
| 2011-12-02 18:46:45 |
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ELP, I found this story to be wonderfully written through most of the narrative, however I was severely thrown by the parents overreaction to her pregnancy. I can see it happening in one of two ways, but that they didn't truly give her a chance to explain what happened, even if she didn't confess that it was Devon's child, struck me wrong with the previous descriptions of how they attended to their children. Of course, I could see some transference of their grief onto their daughter, but there is nothing in the narrative to indicate that. It just exploded out of nowhere, and I was left trying to decipher the purpose of her being thrust out, and then welcomed back. Most often such plot twists are there to indicate a sort of redemption for the main character, and I didn't get that here, so I was left a bit confused about why it happened in the first place. Other than that, I loved the evocative writing, and the development of the characters. You can get a glimpse of the love this family |
| 2011-12-02 18:48:20 |
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(cont) family feels for each other in how they flock around their son/brother, and how they flock around their grandchild. It's what ultimately left me feeling the middle scene of the exile not really fitting. The writing was strong and the style very akin to my preference so I enjoyed the story, even with the plot twist I didn't understand. I look forward with relish to future stories. |
| 2011-12-02 18:52:52 |
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The story is very sexy, but a bit confusing at the beginning. It feels like a slice of a larger narrative. There are extraneous details not necessary to what happens in this story, although I could see them being important in a larger narrative. Overall the writing is good but because of the extra details it feels a little disjointed. The sex scenes were well written and seemed to be the point of the piece such that I was left wondering what the gift was. Her innocence? She doesn't seem very innocent. Her virginity? Some other indefinable quality? Overall it was a good story, as I said, I was just left feeling like this was part of something more. I would love to see more written about these characters, both a prequel, and continuing chapters. |
| 2011-12-02 19:16:33 |
CAW #9 - The Most Painful Gift
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I disliked the main character. Immensely. To me that says that the writer was able to evoke that response in me. That shows a quality of writing that I think hasn't gotten it's just due, due to the subject matter. This isn't a tale of a woman empowering herself, and finding sexual fulfilment, it's a tale of a woman cheating. And when caught, she is not apologetic, and instead expects her husband to deal and accept it. That isn't going to sit well with many people. And there doesn't seem very much that's gift-like in that attitude. I suspect the true gift in the story is the husband giving that to his wife due to his love for her. But ultimately we are left with a bitter taste in the mouth as the cheating woman does not pay for her crimes, but gets rewarded. And that leaves us with no justice.. |