| 2020-05-23 23:15:39 |
The Things We Do at Home - part 5 and final
|
Great job recounting their story Starry. To the real Jessica & Chris, our phycological makeup is what makes us feel disgusted at having sex with family members. It's nature's way of keeping our gene pools diverse. I personally know a brother and sister that live as man and wife, but they grew up apart. So the inclination to stay away wasn't in them, they just fell in love, and couldn't help themselves. There truly is no shame in it, and after some time, you will accept that what happened was just sex. Keep loving one another as brother and sister, with just a special bond most don't have. We all have secrets we take to the grave. Best of luck to you! |
| 2020-06-05 14:26:22 |
Naked Day - part 28 - Go West
|
I have really enjoyed your story so far. A few grammatical mistakes now and then, but nothing too bad. You should probably read it back to yourself out loud when you proof. I personally find a lot more errors that way. Great job overall, keep going! |
| 2020-06-10 21:50:23 |
Naked Day - part 29 - Eight Years Later
|
NCfan, don't take the negatives personally, most of them are from rival writers trying to keep you out of the light. Anyway, great job on the series, it was not too long. I hope you do a few more chapters. |
| 2020-06-11 21:25:34 |
Sisters at the Shore
|
So I really liked the story, but you have a lot of punctuation issues and other grammatical errors. There are missing words, a few areas where I'm not sure who the dialog belongs to, and I think a couple of verb tense errors. Story is great, the writing just needs work. Please take this as constructive. |
| 2020-06-12 18:41:18 |
Sisters at the Shore
|
NCfan, I PMed you the first few paragraphs corrected. Just compare and you'll see what I mean. |