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Comments from TheDevilsOwn

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Date Story title Comment
2019-03-27 23:11:24 Soul Mates Part 2_(0) Gods! I'm so glad you posted this DBuck! As always, you're crafting a great story and I can't wait till chapter 3! Or the next chapter of The Rocker either!
2019-04-04 12:57:35 CAHILL--Part 1 of 6 Senor, as a retired police officer, I can honestly say I don't know any police officers that talk the way Cahill does. Neither federal, state or local...Most cops aren't very chatty, they say what they have to and they get right to the point. Also, they NEVER discuss ongoing cases...its kind of an unwritten rule. Just some things to keep in mind if you continue this story or if you write another like it. Otherwise, its a pretty good story.
2019-04-08 16:58:22 Potential Part 13 “You claim the story is finished in earlier replies but it's xnxx that is your hold up fine that's the excuse here but what about over at ------- it has been well over a month since the last chapter came out. Sorry either your story is not finished and you lied or you're lazy as hell...”

BiStander, don't listen to these kind of "reviews" its just a case of a jealous nobody that wishes he could write as well as you do. You write a very well crafted and detailed tale that frankly I find very little fault with. I love your story and eagerly go from chapter to chapter since I found it. Keep up the great work!
2019-04-12 03:08:11 Potential Part 28 BiStander, you have a beautiful, riveting story going and I can't wait for the next chapter and to find out if Evan takes over as head of household from his father...As his confidence grows, that seems like the possible way it could be going. The suspense of the secrets in this family is amazing...I'm not talking about the secrets Evan keeps, the ones the rest of the family just seem to breeze over but never reveal. My gods, its nerve racking!
2019-05-26 20:21:58 The Receptionist Where to begin...

Well, first off, I enjoyed the concept and the style, your main issues is this:

1) Take time to read and reread your work several times to pick out the usage and grammatical errors. If you have trouble finding them, find someone to edit it for you. There were honestly some parts where I scratched my head and said, "WTF is he talking about?"

2) Word misuse is high in your story as well as tense. Microsoft Word and other processing software will only do so much, you also have to pay attention to what you're writing.


3) Take some time to do some research and develop your character more fully. There is absolutely no back story on how he has the ability to "assassinate" as you put it, several well armed thugs or how he was able to not die during the fight with the last guy. Typically, someone that's never been in a fight would get cut to ribbons against an armed criminal in no time flat.
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